If you've been keeping up with all things celebrity throughout 2012, you didn't need a special occasion like Halloween to be scared silly.
It seems every week in Hollywood there's a story that puts a disturbing image in our head or show how quickly American culture is declining. Whether it's reality stars making way more more than they ever should or sex tapes that should never see the light of day, check out our roundup of the scariest news stories of 2012!
1. Pauly D Made $11 Million This Past Year
He's not the most recognizable cast member on Jersey Shore by a longshot, but Pauly D proved he likely is the most business savvy. Snooki and The Situation racked up the magazine covers, but Pauly D racked up the money -- as in, $11 million worth over the last year! Between the show, through $40,000 a night DJ gigs that included opening up for Britney Spears on her tour, endorsement deals and his own clothing line, it looks like we'll be seeing plenty of Pauly long after this season.
2. Honey Boo Boo Gets Picked Up
It's hard to believe that just six months ago, 99 percent of America had no idea who (or what?) Honey Boo Boo is. And when the former Toddlers and Tiaras kid got picked up for a show with her family, most of us thought it was a joke at first glance. But not only did people watch it, they watched it as fervently as the Democratic National Convention! And in a true sign that America is screwed, the show was picked up for a second season and the entire family had their salary tripled.
3. Someone Thought Kate Gosselin Would be a Good Spokesperson
Reality stars endorsing things is already a hard enough sell, but having Kate be the spokesperson for anything after she managed to piss off her ex-husband, two networks and everyone in America with her diva behavior was truly an insane business decision. Nevertheless, CouponCabin decided to hire Kate as their "celebrity contributor" at the beginning of the year, only to discover she was offering money-saving advice that she never utilized herself. That, and she was apparently a royal pain in the ass to work with. (SPOILER ALERT!) The company ultimately canned her just two weeks ago.
4. Random Child Star Amanda Bynes Was the Most Insane Celebrity of 2012
Apparently, Amanda was determined to not fall into the "Where Are They Now?" pile by any means necessary. She was arrested for DUI last April, tweeted President Obama about the injustice of it and then literally couldn't go a single day without some kind of auto drama for the next several months. Luckily, she's in NYC now, where a car isn't necessary, and her license has been suspended.
We all thought Rihanna had moved on from Breezy, but apparently not. The two have been spotted canoodling and he even broke up with his girlfriend over RiRi. There are even reports they've secretly gotten back together. Honestly, we just don't get it. Does he have a soft side that literally no one else but her sees? Is he just that amazing in bed? Since we have little faith in Chris changing, we're just hoping Rihanna knows the signs of when it's time to get out of Dodge this time around.
6. Courtney Stodden Got a Reality Show
Even for American cultural standards, rewarding pedophilia with a reality show is a new low. Nevertheless, that's what happened when then 17-year-old Courtney and her 52-year-old husband Doug Hutchison landed a spot on VH1's Couples Therapy. Courtney and Doug alienated everyone in the cast within the first 15 seconds because of her skimpy outfits, their over-the-top PDA and her admission that she sometimes refers to her husband as "dad" by mistake. We shudder to think what else will be rewarded with air time in the years to come.
7. Hulk Hogan's Sex Tape Almost Reached the Masses
You know what, I want to watch the Hulkster bang someone today. Said NO ONE EVER! Nevertheless, a Hulk Hogan sex tape nearly reached the masses when Gawker posted a snippet of it that might have been the most unsexy thing imaginable. The Octomom's porno sounded kinda-sorta tempting instead of this. Hulk went on to file a $50 million suit against Gawker and his friend who he claimed filmed the act without his consent, but has so far settled with the latter.
8. Uma Thurman's Baby Name Was Legally Allowed
Most countries have really obvious rules about baby names, like they can't have exclamation points or hashtags or Hitler thrown in them. We're still amazed that Uma's name for her newborn daughter slipped through the cracks though. Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. (Or Luna, for short.) They're just asking for that kid to get her ass kicked in junior high...
9. Katie Holmes Is Actually Pretty Cool
Despite being married to one of the most recognizable men in Hollywood, we knew very little about Katie throughout their time together. But once they got divorced, it immediately became clear who the cool one in that relationship was. Katie wasted no time moving to NYC with their daughter Suri and rebuilding her careers in acting and fashion. And she did it all with a high level of style that makes us want to see what comes next for her.
What do you think was the scariest news story of 2012?
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