People. What is the matter with you?

Other awards shows like the Grammys, the Emmys, and the Oscars may not always get it right, but at least when they’re wrong, we have someone to fault. But when The People make an unwise decision, we only have humanity at large to blame.

The People’s Choice Awards air tonight and while you might think letting the general public have their say when it comes to pop culture sounds fair, as past winners prove, "people" should probably have their entertainment favorites chosen for them.

(Which is probably what happens at the People’s Choice Awards anyway, since they’re largely regarded as a sham.)

Here's our round-up of past People's Choice Award winners that don't stand up to scrutiny.

 

Favorite Performer In A New TV Program: Robert Blake

Chosen By The People In 1976

We have nothing to say about Robert Blake’s role in Baretta, but given that a lot of people still think he murdered his wife Bonny Lee Blake, they’d probably rescind this award if they could.

 

Favorite New TV Comedy: The Class

Chosen By The People In 2006

This short-lived series concerned a bunch of high school friends reunited around their reunion, and contained stars who would go onto bigger and better things like Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Bachelorette’s Lizzy Caplan. But The People need to take a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror for choosing this over 30 Rock, which was also up for the award this year.

 

Favorite Music Video: “Dancing on the Ceiling”

Chosen By The People In 1987

Remember when this music video was totally cutting edge? Us either. To be fair, the special effect of Lionel Richie defying gravity with his moves holds up reasonably well, but it’s the wretched 80s fashion and dancing that make this one a pretty laughable choice in retrospect.

 

Favorite Breakout Movie Actress: Miley Cyrus

Chosen By The People In 2009

Sure, we love us some Miley. But does it really count as a breakout movie performance when you’re just reprising your TV character on the big screen? Four years after Hannah Montana: The Movie, we’re still pretty sure Miley Cyrus hasn’t exactly “broken out” as a film actress. (No, her direct-to-video titles don't count.)

 

Favorite New Song: “Disco Duck”

Chosen By The People In 1977

Are we sure this was the People’s Choice Awards? Only a mallard could handle this much quacking over a disco beat. Perhaps they mixed up the ballots with the Duck’s Choice Awards by mistake.

 

Favorite Male Performer Garth Brooks

Chosen By The People In 2002 (and a bunch of other years)

Garth Brooks has ten People’s Choice Awards to his name, and we have a permanent black spot on our pop culture radar that reminds us that he was once considered kind of awesome.

 

Favorite Male Performer In A New TV Program: Mr. T; Favorite Overall New Show: The A-Team

Chosen By The People In 1984

Believe it or not, there was a time when Mr. T and his A-Team weren't just the butt of jokes aimed at arguably our tackiest decade. They were actually legitimately popular! Oh, 80s, why isn't there a pill that lets us forget you?

 

Favorite New TV Comedy: Joey

Chosen By The People In 2004

And just when we thought we’d wiped the Friends spin-off from our minds completely, along come the People to pretend like it was a legitimate, real show.

 

Favorite Male/Female Performer in a New TV Series: Burt Reynolds/Carol Burnett

Chosen By The People In 1991

Wait. Sorry, is this 1991 or 1971? The retro performers managed to pull an unlikely win out of the 90's for their respective comebacks. The People? Not always so hip.

 

Favorite Movie Actor: Mel Gibson

Chosen By The People In 2001

Back in 2001, Mel Gibson was a likable guy who didn’t go around insulting women and minorities. (At least, not that we knew of.) This year, he was coming off some rom-com success in What Women Want. Now here’s a hint as to what women really want, Mel: to not be called “sugar tits.”

 

Favorite Male Performer: Bobby Brown; Favorite Female Performer: Paula Abdul

Chosen By The People In 1990

Oh, that’s right. Paula Abdul was briefly a pop star before being a boozy judge on American Idol. (Notice how fast she disappeared again once she quit the show?) And we all know how Bobby Brown’s reputation has held up. Apparently 1990 wasn’t such a memorable year for music ― at least, not as evidenced by the People’s Choice Awards.

 

Favorite Movie Drama: Water For Elephants

Chosen By The People In 2011

Who could forget the year’s most moving drama, Water for Elephants? Wait... what? Hell, this was last year and we already forgot about this movie. Nice one, People.

 

Favorite New TV Comedy: Jesse

Chosen By The People In 1998

Legendary sitcom Will & Grace had to share its breakthrough award with Jesse, the forgettable Christina Applegate vehicle in which she stars as a single mom who falls for her Cuban neighbor. Hilarity ensued... once or twice.

 

Favorite Song From A Movie: “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” by Jessica Simpson

Chosen By The People In 2005

Reeeally? This atrocious Dukes of Hazzard soundtrack single was basically the death rattle of Jessica Simpson's career as an even-thinner-voiced Britney Spears wannabe... though the embarrassing video might do for some softcore porn, provided it's on mute. We wouldn’t even vote this track for “Favorite Song Called ‘These Boots Are Made For Walkin’’ from the Dukes of Huzzard movie,” so we’re not sure how it won this award. Just keep on walking, boots.

 

Favorite Dramatic Movie: Independence Day

Chosen By The People In 1997

Do you remember the intimate, wrenching drama Independence Day, in which people of all walks of life come together to learn the true meaning of freedom when oppressed? A movie in which the president must come to terms with the secrets his government has kept from him, a stripper must find the inner strength to keep her son alive, and many people make the tragic mistake of trusting strangers, leading to their early demise? Also: aliens? In a year that also saw the release of Fargo, The English Patient, and more, calling Roland Emmerich’s Independence Day the year’s best drama is a slap in the face to actual dramas, which tend not to feature Will Smith flying jets into extraterrestrial spacecraft. Come on, People!

 

Favorite Movie Superhero: The Green Lantern

Chosen By The People In 2011

Okay, yes, Ryan Reynolds is nice to look at. But how did the star of the year’s worst comic book movie beat X-Men Jennifer Lawrence and James McAvoy, or soon-to-be Avengers Chris Hemsworth in Thor and Chris Evans in Captain America? Wrong choice, People. Obviously. We hope you’re ashamed of yourselves.

 

Favorite Rock Group: Hootie & the Blowfish

Chosen By The People In 1995

First of all, it’s a bit of a stretch to qualify Hootie & the Blowfish as “rock,” but the infamous one-hit wonders did manage to get chosen by the people for once in their lives. And then? The People chose to forget. It's a cruel world, isn't it, Blowfish?

 

Favorite Movie Drama/Favorite Independent Movie: The Secret Life of Bees

Chosen By The People In 2009

The Secret Life of Bees is the hard-hitting independent drama that swept the Oscars and broke box office records… in a parallel universe, which is apparently where the People’s Choice Awards culls their nominees. And sure, The Secret Life of Bees' competition for Best Drama was 21 and Eagle Eye (neither of which are really dramas, btw), but how the hell did this happen in a year that also saw the release of Slumdog Millionaire and The Dark Knight?

 

Favorite New TV Dramatic Series: Brooklyn South

Chosen By The People In 1997

Remember this show? Of course you don’t. It co-starred Nip/Tuck’s Dylan Walsh and came from the creator of NYPD Blue. It was, apparently, The People’s favorite new series, except not enough of a favorite for them to actually watch it so that it lasted more than one season.

 

Favorite User-Generated Video: “Shoes”

Chosen By The People In 2008

Omigod... "Shoes." Because it makes a whole lot of sense to reward internet sensations that trend for a couple months at best, remember Kelly? In a video that cost no more than $300, the viral sensation had everyone saying "Let's get 'em!" and screeching "Those shoes are mine, betch!" (For about five minutes. Like we said, these memes don't last long.) It's pretty quaint by today's viral video standards, though.

 

Favorite Everything: John Grisham

Chosen By The People In 1994

No, “Favorite Everything” is not a real category. (Though given the other dubious, ever-changing categories the People’s Choice Awards come up with, we wouldn’t be surprised.) But given that both Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts won Favorite Actor/Actress In A Drama for The Firm and The Pelican Brief, respectively, and The Firm won Best Drama, it’s clear that the real winner of the night was bestselling author John Grisham. These probably weren't actually the sharpest dramas of the 90s, but we sure wish Hollywood hadn't run out of decent Gisham books to adapt, because legal thrillers just ain't what they used to be.

 

Favorite Combined Forces: Chris Brown & Jordin Sparks, "No Air"

Chosen By The People In 2009

Awkward timing alert! This awards ceremony went down just one month before Chris Brown made headlines for beating Rihanna practically to a pulp. It’s safe to assume another winner would have been chosen had voting been delayed a few weeks.

 

Favorite Male Performer: MC Hammer / Favorite New Song: "Ice Ice Baby"

Chosen By The People In 1991

Everything's going fine when you look at the movies ― favorite comedy, Pretty Woman. Great, iconic. Favorite drama, Ghost. Pretty solid. Then you get to the music categories, and ouch! It's a double-whammy of ultimate 90s cheese. So if some deitya ccidentally deleted 1991 from the collective consciousness, we'd be perfectly fine with that. (We've already burned any photographic evidence of Hammer pants.)

 

Favorite Motion Picture: Farenheit 9/11

Chosen By The People In 2005

A rare feat for the People’s Choice Awards (or any awards, really) ― a documentary beats out more conventional titles like Shrek 2, Spider-Man 2, The Incredibles, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The People chose George W. Bush for their president in 2004, yet chose Michael Moore’s film slamming him just a few months later. Fickle people ― make up your minds!

 

Favorite Pop Artist: Demi Lovato

Chosen By The People In 2011

Demi Lovato beats Rihanna, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce as best pop star? That's it, People. We're done here.

 

Attention, humanity: please form an orderly queue in which to receive your lashings. You must pay for your sins against taste and all that is good in pop culture.

Which do you think was the worst winner?