We're pretty convinced that schools and offices should be closed in honor of Betty White's birthday today.
America has long thanked Betty for being a friend for her nearly 65 years in the entertainment business, but she's morphed into a full-on national treasure over the last few years. And while all of her contemporaries have long since faded from the public eye, Betty is still relevant and hysterical even in her nineties! In honor of the Golden Girl's 91st birthday, check out our roundup of 10 of her funniest moments.
1. Betty Chugs Vodka With David Letterman
When Betty told Dave that "drinking vodka is kind of a hobby," we're apt to believe her. (Or at least we can fantasize about barhopping with her). But it seems that Betty didn't like the brand of poison Dave brought out for her.
2. Betty Makes Her Rap Debut
Hearing a 90-year-old woman rapping about being "the big Betty" while feeding cheesecake to a bunch of shirtless muscle men is comedy gold. Would Betty make a great sugar grandma? Abso-freakin-lutely.
3. The Golden Girls Condom Skit
Fun fact: Rose Nylund was kinkier than we thought. Betty's character on The Golden Girls seemed like a naive, slightly ditzy farm girl from Minnesota, but she shocked everyone after a group trip with the rest of the girls to pick up condoms.
4. Betty Slams Sarah Palin
She was far from the first person to call Sarah a "crazy bitch" during her 2008 Vice Presidential run, but there's something about a senior citizen swearing that's just consistently funny.
5. Betty's Adam And Eve Skit With Johnny Carson
Some might argue that Betty's creation came mere moments after Adam and Eve, so she was amply prepared to take on the role. Despite that, this skit featuring the Biblical couple arguing about divorce payments remains one of her funniest television moments during the 70s.
6. Betty Hosts Saturday Night Live
At 89 years old, Betty hosted SNL for the first time in her career as part of a night that celebrated women in comedy. The "Delicious Dish" skit about her dusty muffin remains one of the funniest spots on the show so far this decade, but she killed with her opening monologue rant on Facebook and tape delays.
7. Betty White Gets Roasted
Nothing says "I love you" like your husband insulting the crap out of you on stage. While the current Friars Club roasts on Comedy Central typically honor D-listers like Flavor Flav and David Hasselhoff, they were far more A-list back in the day and roasted legends like Betty. "She wouldn't accept my ring until I rolled over and played dead. And then on our honeymoon, she rolled over and played dead," said her late husband Allen Lunden.
8. Betty's Super Bowl Snickers Commercial
Not that Betty had ever stopped working, but there might not have ever been a petition to get Betty to host SNL without this hilarious commercial that was the kickstart for her comeback -- at age 88!
9. Betty's SAG Acceptance Speech
After receiving the Life Achievement award from Sandra Bullock in 2010, Betty took to the stage and declared, "Isn't it heartening to see how far a girl as plain as she is can go?" She then went on to speak about her passions in life: show business, animals and, um... just watch for yourself.
10. Betty On Hot In Cleveland
Far from content with resting on her laurels, Betty is drunker and hornier than ever on her latest sitcom Hot In Cleveland. Playing the role of potty-mouthed grandma Elka, the show has been going strong since its debut in 2010 and is currently in the middle of its fourth season.
What's your favorite Betty White moment?
Photos courtesy of Getty Images and NBC