And you thought Amanda Bynes makes poor choices when she drinks...

Actor Jason London, who appeared in Dazed And Confused along with 80-something movies and TV shows we don’t care about, simultaneously pulled a Mel Gibson and a Lindsay Lohan and a We-Can’t-Think-Of-Any-Celebrity-Who-Has-Ever-Done-This-Before.

That is to say: he got into a drunken bar brawl, used homophobic slurs on the police, and then allegedly defecated in the back of the cop car… intentionally.

So, this story is a doozy. Cops in Scottsdale, Arizona responded to a call about a man bleeding in public. They encountered Jason London, who punched a bouncer after sneezing on him, according to TMZ. He fought as he was being forcibly removed from the bar, resulting in a swollen eye. He was arrested for assault and disorderly conduct.

On the way to the station, Jason allegedly called the cops “f―t”and said, I'm rich and I'm a motherf***ing famous actor!  F***ing look me up, bitch."

Not quite content with that level of outrageously boorish behavior, Jason then apparently crapped his pants purposefully and said: “I told you I'm happy as s**t.”

Related Article: Hot Mess Showdown: Lindsay Lohan vs. Amanda Bynes

Jason has since denied the story, as any sentient human being would. “I would never say or do the crap they are reporting. Have faith in me,” he tweeted. (The “crap” they are reporting? What a suitable choice of words...) “Wait till you see the real pictures. I have a right orbital fracture and sinus fracture. The truth will win.”

Hmm… we’re not sure. He looks pretty well intoxicated in that mug shot…

Jason London is the twin brother of Jeremy London, a marginally more famous actor from Mallrats and Party of Five, who has to the best of our knowledge never used the back of a cop car as a restroom.

Way to be the evil twin, Jason!

Do you believe the cops or Jason?

Photos Courtesy of Fameflynet and TMZ