It may be a little early to predict what the biggest story of 2013 will be, but one thing’s for sure ― before the year is done, the world will see the birth of one very famous baby.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian shared their excitement over the holiday about the bundle of joy they’re expecting this summer (despite the fact that she’s still legally married to Kris Humphries). It officially takes this twosome from somewhat random hookup to a celebrity item to be reckoned with, considering that this tyke is bound to be the most publicized kid since Blue Ivy Carter. (Way to upstage your buddy Jay, Kanye.)
But Kim and Kanye aren’t quite as universally beloved as Jay-Z and Beyonce, thanks to assorted sex tapes, trashy reality shows, and awards show interruptions. Thus, we’re not sure exactly what to expect from the child we’ll heretofore refer to as Baby K. (You know its name is gonna start with K, right?) If we could, we’d tamper with this baby's DNA to ensure that he picks up some of his parents’ best traits ― and definitely doesn’t have some of the less desirable ones.
So without further ado, here’s our recipe for the best possible Kim and Kanye baby!
TRAITS TO INHERIT
1. Kim’s Looks
Both Kim and Kanye are wildly attractive people, physically. We can only imagine that their DNA mixing will result in one of the most gorgeous human beings to ever walk the planet. Will Baby K follow in Mom’s footsteps and be Playboy’s Miss December in 2031? We can only wait and see!
2. Kanye’s Musical Talent
Before he was primarily publicized for being Kim’s arm kandy, Kanye was one of the most acclaimed hip hop artists working today. (Remember that?) If he's not too busy baby-proofing his mansion, maybe he'll get back to that someday. Otherwise, how awesome would it be if Baby K grew up to be just as innovative in music, spawning future hits as brilliant and iconic as “Gold Digger,” “Stronger,” and “All Of The Lights”?
3. Kim’s Business Sense
Kim’s claims to be a “business woman” may be somewhat laughable. It isn’t hard for reality stars to put their name on a bunch of products and sell ‘em like hot cakes, regardless of the quality of said items. That said, Kim and her sisters have managed to build an empire out of virtually nothing, which is nothing to sneeze at. Here’s hoping Baby K takes Mom’s empire one step further, perhaps even in a direction that doesn’t involve beauty, fashion, or losing weight.
4. Kanye’s Style
Both Kim and Kanye are well-dressed individuals. Again, this is made easier when you can afford the best stylists money can buy, but we appreciate Kanye’s occasional stabs at both classy and somewhat edgy apparel. Let’s hope Baby K takes more from Dad’s coutoure fashion instincts than Mom’s tacky Sears-exclusive "Kollection." If we ever see this baby in a leopard print onesie, we’re going to be very upset.
TRAITS TO DEFINITELY NOT INHERIT
1. Kim’s Relationship Stamina
Kim first got divorced in 2004, then ended a 72-day marriage at the end of 2011 ― and is already pregnant with another man’s baby before the divorce is final. Let’s also factor in the sex tape with ex Ray J and say that Kim doesn’t have the best luck with the men in her life. Maybe Baby K can avoid the scrutiny Mom faces in the romance department.
2. Kanye’s Manners
Kindergarten won’t go smoothly if Baby K gets up while the teacher is talking and says, “I’m gonna let you finish, but…” Maybe Yeezy has learned enough now to teach his tyke when and when not to interrupt.
3. Kim’s Musical Talent
With all that access and a father who is a terrific producer, there’s a 98% percent chance that Baby K will attempt to record an album someday. If so, let us pray that it sounds absolutely nothing like this.
4. Kim & Kanye’s Collective Ego
There are few people who seem more in love with themselves than Kim and Kanye, thus we’re surprised their huge egos can even fit in a room together, let alone make a relationship work. Will Baby K be the most spoiled child of all time, or is it possible that the sense of entitlement could skip a generation? The prognosis isn’t good, since, like Mom, Baby K is already famous for being famous and not any discernible talent. Seriously, all this kid had to do to make nationwide headlines was be conceived! Let’s just hope that by some fluke of nature, this child ends up being the most gracious, humble, and charitable person who ever lived.
Which traits do you think Kim and Kanye's baby will pick up?
Photos Courtesy of Fameflynet and Getty Images