Who run the world?
Yeah, that’s right. Beyonce.
The Grammy-winning superstar had a relatively quiet 2012 as she adjusted to being a mother with less focus on her career. But 2013 seems to be The Year of the Bey, because suddenly girlfriend is eeeverywhere. Obama's inauguration, the Super Bowl, the Grammys ― and, this weekend, in her very own HBO documentary Life Is But A Dream. It's safe to say that right now, the Queen Bey is pretty much at the height of her powers.
So let's take a deeper look at the many facets of this talented performer... and the one, singular chink in her armor that's popped up recently.
Here are 12 reasons Beyonce is basically the most flawless human being on Earth:
1. She wins Grammys almost automatically.
Her last album, 4, came out in June 2011 ― coming up on two years ago. Yet she still won a Grammy this year for “Love On Top.” People just love giving this woman awards.
2. She’s one-half of a bona fide power couple.
In most celebrity couplings, one star shines a little brighter than the other. But given that Jay-Z is likely the greatest rapper in the game these days, we have to say they hold equal weight. And who doesn't love them together? It's one celebrity pairing we can see lasting over the years.
3. She's only BFFs with The President of the Freakin' United States of America.
Speaking of power couples, there's really only one that tops Bey and Jay, and that's Barack and Michelle. Naturally, the Knowles-Carter clan and the Obamas are super chummy... and maybe Beyonce's picking up a tip or two, should she ever find herself living in the White House. "As First Lady?" you ask. Please. Beyonce For President! (You know she'd win.)
4. Her style
Seriously, have you ever seen her wear the wrong thing on any occasion? Didn’t think so. The woman can wear pants to the Grammys and still make best dressed lists! (To be fair, there were a few fashion missteps back in the Destiny’s Child era, but we’ll just randomly place the blame for that on Michelle Williams. It's easy to blame things on Michelle.)
5. Hello, have you seen that baby?
Granted, it’s probably genetically impossible for Beyonce to have an ugly baby, even if she were to mate with a praying mantis. Still, Blue Ivy definitely takes the cake as cutest baby ever, and will almost certainly be a diva in her own right someday.
6. “Single Ladies”
Sorry, Taylor, but Kanye was right ― you just don’t get more iconic than this. By now, everyone knows the “Single Ladies” dance (even if they can’t perform it themselves), with the hand-flipping and punch-stepping. And as we recently realized during her Super Bowl halftime performance, the song has aged enough that it can be played again without sending people screaming out of the room due to overexposure.
7. She does not tolerate mistresses.
We have a feeling if Jay-Z brought home a psycho blonde, it would play out exactly like this. Obsessed may not be anything close to a cinematic masterpiece, but Bey doesn’t suffer any ridicule from the camp value of this film the way other musicians-turned-actors have from their bad film roles (Mariah Carey, Madonna, Kelly Clarkson… to name just a few.) Only a superstar like Beyonce could emerge from a cheese-fest like this with her reputation unscathed.
8. She actually was a child of destiny.
Most of us spend our teenage years looking awkward, studying or partying. Beyonce spent them recording some of the most beloved songs of the past couple decades ― “No, No, No,” “Jumpin’ Jumpin,’” “Say My Name,” and “Survivor” amongst them. And while many groups that break up to pursue solo careers toil in obscurity, Bey clearly did more than alright for herself. No matter which girls she's paired with, she's always been the standout.
9. She can call herself Sasha Fierce and get away with it.
The only other women who could get away with that are not actually women, they are drag queens. If most other artists tried this, they’d be mocked. When Beyonce does it, it’s just, um, fierce. (See also: "boof boof" for ridiculous things we would only accept from the mouth of Beyonce.)
10. Girlfriend can sing live.
Putting that presidential lip-sync debacle aside, there's nobody who's questioning Beyonce's pipes. Unlike a lot of her contemporaries, this diva delivers in every live performance, and she isn't just sitting on a chair while she's belting. Pretty much nobody moves, shakes, and sings simultaneously like Beyonce. Any questions?
11. She has her own horsefly.
Grammy, Shmammy. How do you truly know you’ve made it? When some random scientist in Australia names a new species of horsefly after you. It’s the most bootylicious horsefly of them all!
12. When she wants a documentary made about her, she makes it herself.
Plenty of musicians have had documentaries made about them. Few have directed one themselves. But that’s Beyonce ― always totally in control of her own image.
Which leads us to… dun dun DUN… the one chink in her armor…
1. Is Beyonce a little too perfect? Discuss.
Who is she, behind that immaculate wall? Supposedly, the HBO doc Life Is But A Dream will answer those questions, as Bey is said to be candid like never before. (Really! Oprah told us so.)
But is she really? It’s hard to imagine that Beyonce will really let us see her at her most vulnerable. It was earlier this month that her publicist asked for “unflattering” photos to be taken off websites, which of course immediately created a meme of Beyonce in increasingly ridiculous scenarios. Because in trying to control her image too much, Beyonce risks losing control completely. As talented and beloved as Bey is, she's one of the most inaccessible celebrities out there. Do we really know what her personality is like, compared to her pop peers?
Will we find out Saturday, when the HBO special airs?
Is Beyonce's image too controlled, or do you like her perfection as it is?
Let us know in the comments!