We know a woman’s weight can fluctuate when she’s pregnant, but Kim Kardashian only seems to be pregnant every other day or so. The reality television empress has flaunted her growing baby bump (and various other associated bumps) in tight clothing that doesn’t exactly scream “maternity.” (In fact, they scream, “We’re celebrity body parts! Get us out of here!”)

Kim recently appeared on the cover of Us with the headline “Don’t Call Me Fat!”, which is sort of a silly headline for a pregnant woman ― like featuring a picture of a person in a coma under the headline “Don’t Call Me Lazy!” It also happens to match a Life & Style cover from a few years back centering on Khloe Kardashian's weight. These Kardashians apparently do not like being called fat, so just don’t, okay?

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If you see Kim Kardashian rocking cheek piercings sometime soon, do not be alarmed. She's just taking after her new fashion role model, Amanda Bynes. "Am I the only one who thinks Amanda Bynes new make over is amazing!?!" Kim tweeted last week. The answer to that, Kim, is simple: yes. Yes, you certainly are.

But Kim's other tweets and quotes to the media lately have given further "insight" into her pregnancy.

"I'm waiting for the moments when someone's like, 'Let's go to McDonald's and Taco Bell!'" Kim said about her lacking cravings. "That's not happening for me and I'm kind of sad about it." She claims her biggest pregnancy craving is carrots and celery with ranch dressing. (Scandalous!)

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Of course, the media has been paying plenty of attention to her pregnant body, with some criticism of her figure ― particularly as it appears in the tight clothing she chooses to wear. (No muumuus or sweatpants for Kim Kardashian!) "There are maybe two or three covers just this week that say I am 200 pounds” she said. “I'm like, 'You are 60 pounds off here!'"

But are high heels and tight designer duds really necessary during these nine months? Or is Kim just totally doing pregnancy wrong? For a glam diva like Kim, you’d think she might appreciate some downtime from caring so much about how she looks, but nope! Far from it. We know her baby is stored in that baby bump, but where is the bump where she stores her ego?

“This episode is making me need a tan! Gonna spray tonight!” Kim tweeted during last night’s Kourtney & Kim Take Miami. And indeed, hours later, she posted a photo of her legs with the caption: “Sprayed tonight after watching KKTM! My legs are soooo dark! Loving Kardashian SunKissed!”

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She also tweeted that she missed the blonde in her hair, showed off needles sticking out of her face during acupuncture, and Instagramed a picture of her “fav preggo look” in which she does not look even the slightest bit pregnant. Of her work schedule, Kim says she’s working only half-days because of the baby, "but I haven't been tired at all." If you just heard an exasperated howl, it is probably from an expecting mother near you who wishes she was having Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy instead of her own. (And that crunching sound? That’s her dipping pickles into coffee ice cream to ward off her rage.)

So we know it’s still relatively early into Kim’s pregnancy, but can we get a little morning sickness here, Kim? Some achy back, some bags under the eyes… anything? Naturally, celebrity pregnancies aren’t anything like actual pregnancies… at least, not as they’re reported in the press… but Kim seems particularly guilty of having the easiest, breeziest pregnancy that ever there was. Anyone who is surprised that Kim’s tweets remain superficial and focused almost entirely on her looks needs to manage their expectations, but couldn’t she at least fake it a little bit? She is the least pregnant pregnant woman to ever live.

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There is, perhaps, some hope that Kim will turn into an actual pregnant woman some time before her baby is due. “I never thought I would ever say this... But I'm wearing flats today,” she tweeted this morning. That sound you hear now is the victory cheer from pregnant women around the globe who just want Kim to suffer as they do. Is that too much to ask, Kim Kardashian?

Do you think Kim is handling pregnancy well, or should she let herself go a little?

Photos Courtesy of Fameflynet