26 might be a year that Amanda Bynes would like to have back...
Over the last 12 months, she went from someone in the "Where Are They Now?" pile to what many believe is the biggest hot mess in the hot mess playground of Hollywood. Earlier this week, she missed yet another pre-trial hearing for her misdemeanor DUI case that commenced back in September. Then again, Mondays are prime days to spend smoking pot, driving rental cars without a license and sending bizarre tweets... right?
Amanda turns 27 today and we're hoping she'll finally pull it together in a new year, but she might need a few tools to make that happen. Check out the 11 birthday gifts that Amanda desperately needs this year!
It goes without saying that Amanda should probably have her drivers license revoked after numerous hit-and-runs, a DUI charge and an alleged drug mishap behind the wheel. It's been a full year since the first incident and Amanda has relocated from LA to NYC, where having a car is an inconvenience above anything. Now that she's in the Big Apple, we hope she's gotten herself one of these if she hasn't already. Take the subway. Take the bus. Hell, forgo the Metrocard and take a cab. Just don't ever rent a Zipcar.
Allegedly. Allegedly. Amanda's bizarre behavior have left many of those close to her wondering if the star is suffering from mental illness. Her sudden shift in behavior over the last 12 months has led many to believe she is suffering from bipolar disorder. If that's the case, we're hoping she gets the necessary treatment to get her life back in order ASAP.
3. Fashion Line
For the last seven months, Amanda has been touting the fashion line that she is reportedly starting. She even said it's the main reason she moved to NYC. However, we haven't even seen so much as a rough sketch of a design at this point, let alone an actual garment. Does she want to be a fashion designer in the same way that my tone-deaf self wants to be the frontman for a rock band? Is this going to be as bad as Lindsay Lohan's ill-fated attempt in the fashion world? Either way, she at least deserves the opportunity to show what she's made of.
4. Social Media Expert
Since Amanda hasn't worked at all in the last three years, the only publicity she's been able to get is the kind she's generated herself through Twitter and Instagram. And while her crazy tweets and photos have certainly won her some attention, it's just about killed her chances of having a mainstream Hollywood career. A professional social media expert might be able to show her how to at least channel her Twitter craziness into something constructive... or if nothing else, just keep her from posting stuff like this.
5. A Reality Show
Amanda may be a retired multi-millionaire, but she's got a good 60 years of living left and that money isn't going to last forever. Since her acting career is, um, "on hold" until further notice, a reality show is her best bet at a quick buck. The only problem is that she would definitely need her own show. We can't imagine her becoming part of an ensemble cast like The Real Housewives or taking part in any sort of competitions without her antics completely hijacking production. Perhaps they can just lock her and Gary Busey in a room for 24 hours and see what kind of conversations take place.
6. The Complete Series Of All That
Amanda needs to remember why people loved her in the first place... and it definitely wasn't because of car crashes and bizarre behavior. An all-day marathon of her best moments on Nickelodeon show All That (remember Ask Ashley?) could stir up some memories and put her back on the right path.
Everyone deserves a little nookie on their birthday. And since she already announced to the world that she wanted Drake to murder her V, perhaps he'd be willing to oblige. After all, the crazy ones are usually pretty good in bed...
8. A Meeting With Barack Obama
We're willing to bet that this was Barack's face when he learned that Amanda wanted him to get involved in her DUI case last June. "Hey @BarackObama... I don't drink," she wrote. "Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don't hit and run. The end." But just in case she's still stewing over this one, perhaps a meeting with POTUS would clear the air and provide the closure. "It's not you, Amanda. It's me. I'm the president. I wanted to help, but didn't have time." Or something like that...
9. Fashion Stylist
Until 12 months ago, we always thought of Amanda as a fresh-faced teen idol. Then she started pouring on pounds of makeup, added a cheek piercing and rocked some, um, interesting fashion choices. Even aspiring fashion designers need a stylist of their own. If nothing else, it should be suggested to her that sunglasses are the way to go incognito, not throwing a T-shirt entirely over your head in Times Square.
10. The Chance To Knock Lindsay Lohan Out
For some reason, Lindsay decided to stick her nose into Amanda's auto drama last September, expressing disbelief that she went to jail and Amanda received no punishment up to that point. Say what you want about Amanda, but almost all of her bizarre behavior has only harmed herself. She deserves the chance to fight back against someone who attacked her for no reason whatsoever. And if anyone deserves a good right hook these days...
11. The Best Damn Lawyer Money Can Buy
Amanda has announced plans to sue In Touch Magazine, Us Weekly and Perez Hilton for false claims against her. Since this is the only way that she's expressed interest in making money in the last three years, she needs to make this one count and get the best lawyer she possibly can. We hear that LiLo's old lawyer/miracle worker Shawn Holley is available...
Do you think this will be the year that Amanda can turn things around?
Photos courtesy of Getty Images, Nickelodeon, Forbes, MTA and customink.com