Who ever thought a little sex tape could cause so much controversy?

(Oh yeah… everyone.)

We got word last week that Teen Mom Farrah Abraham knocked boots (and various other items) with porn-star-turned-slightly-legitimate-actor James Deen ― and filmed it as a “professional” porn. (As professional as these things get, anyway.)

Something about this roll in the hay obviously went haywire, though, because Farrah has since felt the urge to criticize James both as a person and as an adult film star ― and, naturally, James responded. Between these two, who would you guess had more tact and humility? Tough call, we know.

Now, we’re not sure what exactly went down on the set of this porn shoot, but it doesn’t seem like love is in the air anymore (despite the fact that they were initially seen holding hands leaving the studio). James was, not surprisingly, open to talking about the tape, while Farrah apparently didn’t want anyone to know the tape existed…? (Because that's totally what people do when they want to keep a low profile... they make porn.)

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In her latest grilling by TMZ, Farrah topped herself on the hypocrisy scale by claiming James Deen was trying to use her for fame. She wants her “privacy to return to being private,” you see. (She started off by saying “It’s probably best I don’t talk about it” but went against that wisdom without much prompting.)

Apparently, poor Farrah thought that her porn was like a “wedding video,” so she hired professionals so that it would be good. Because if you want a good sex tape of yourself, why wouldn’t you hire a team of professionals and then assume that no one will ever talk about it or view it? (Important note: Teen Mom logic does not resemble regular human logic.)

We can’t expect a Teen Mom to be too smart about sex, but seriously, Farrah? Who does that?

Farrah also called Lindsay Lohan’s Canyons co-star “disrespectful to a woman” and “not a good person,” then insulted the size of his penis ― which we can all see with a little help from Google, if we so desire ― after complaining about her privacy. Class act.

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Weirdest of all, Farrah's mom was also present during this interview and seems to believe that her daughter somehow wasn’t aware that their sex was being filmed ― like, maybe those guys with lights and cameras were just there to set the mood? (Never mind that even Farrah herself isn’t making this bonehead claim.)

Now, porn stars aren’t exactly known for their grace with words ― though it would be tough to sink lower than the Teen Mom here ― but James returned with a short reply that failed to take his one night stand to task for her outrageous hypocrisy. He stated, merely: "I don't really have anything to say. I don't want to perpetuate negativity and don't have anything bad to say."

Points to you, James Deen, because we’re sure you do have plenty of bad things to say, deep down. 'Cause we sure do!

We're calling this celebrity feud now. Winner: James. Loser: Farrah... (and anyone who manages to see that tape).

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Then again, Farrah’s own words have also basically painted the most unfavorable portrait imaginable. Let’s just hope this brief union doesn’t result in another child, because there’s clearly something very wrong with this family.

Do you think Farrah comes off as a hypocrite?

Photos Courtesy of Getty Images and Fameflynet