It’s here! Maxim, the magazine for men who are too shy to subscribe to Playboy, has released its annual Hot 100 list, featuring one hundred celebrities with sparkling personalities and intellect to spare.

Just kidding! It’s based completely on looks.

People’s Most Beautiful Woman Gwyneth Paltrow is nowhere to be found (who knew Maxim and People readers have different ideals of beauty?), but amongst some solid and obvious choices ― like Rihanna and Mila Kunis ― there are also some pretty questionable ones that had us saying, “Really?”

In fact, one of Maxim’s choices is so vapid she literally doesn’t even exist.

Miley Cyrus outed herself as #1 earlier this week, and while we’re digging her recent foray into edgier styles and a more grown-up image, we must admit we’re surprised to find her at #1. She’s certainly still a presence in pop culture, but then again, it’s been ages since she released an album or had a movie or TV appearance worth talking about. The girl is only 19, and seems a tad young to be at the top of this list, no?

Then again, #2 is Selena Gomez, who is also still under the legal drinking age. She’s been plastered all over the place in a bikini thanks to Spring Breakers and has also sexed up her image with new music, so at least she’s working hard. But how old are these Maxim voters, anyway? This is starting to feel more like the High School Jailbait Hot 100 than a list of adult sexy women, and it’s a bit creepy.

Two much more assured sexpots, Rihanna and Mila Kunis, take up spots #3 and #4, respectively, with It Girl Oscar-winner Jennifer Lawrence coming in at #5. She’s fairly young at 22, but we know J-Law can handle herself without getting all porny about it, so we’re not too concerned.

Things get a little weird from there. Jennifer Love Hewitt rules #6, probably because she can’t stop talking about her body parts at any opportunity, while #7 is the bizarre choice of barely relevant Scary Movie 5 actress Ashley Tisdale. Seriously? How Ashley Tisdale beat the hotties that are much further down the list is beyond us. (This pic of her wityh a sandy belly isn't helping matters.)

Kate Upton comes in at #8 (hot… but… yawn…), while another Spring Breaker fills in #9 ― Vanessa Hudgens. (Ouch... two Spring Breakers are in the Top 10, and Ashley Benson is all the way in the 80s. Oh well, Rachel Korine didn't even make this list.) Elisha Cuthbert rounds out the Top 10.

So let’s see here ― of the Top 10 Maxim hotties, four of them are former Disney teen stars. We’ll just let you come up with your own conclusion about that one.

Weirdest of all is #69, Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend ― which is basically voters saying they’d rather have an invisible girlfriend than someone with, you know, a brain and soul. But what more can we really expect of Maxim?

MAXIM HOT 100 full list

#100 Dessie Mitcheson

#99 Ashley Sky

#98 Rebecca Mader

#97 Daniella Alonso

#96 Kellie Pickler

#95 Zooey Deschanel

(Hmm. This photo really doesn't represent Zooey's hotness very well. She just looks tired.)

#94 Dawn Olivieri

#93 Lynsi Torres

#92 Kenda Perez

#91 Allison Williams

#90 Leven Rambin

#89 April Rose

#88 Elisabeth Harnois

#87 Katie Cassidy

#86 Rocsi Diaz

#85 Aubrey Plaza

#84 Alice Eve

#83 Kat Dennings

#82 Ashley Benson

#81 Maggie Grace

#80 Jamie Chung

#79 Hoda Kotb

#78 Ke$ha

(Clearly they've never watched her reality show...)

#77 Janina Gavankar

#76 Emma Roberts

#75 Natalie Martinez

#74 Rachel Bilson

#73 Katharine McPhee

#72 Jessica Chastain

#71 Sara Underwood

#70 Nina Agdal

Manti Teo

#69  Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend

(Um, okay.)

#68 Anne V

#67 Brittney Palmer

#66 Joanna Krupa

#65 Emilia Clarke

(Wait, how is she not higher on this list...? We refuse to believe that Maxim readers don't watch the nudity-drenched Game of Thrones.)

#64 Candice Swanepoel

#63 Stacy Keibler

  #62 Cameron Diaz

  #61 Emily VanCamp

#60 Stana Katic

#59 Brooklyn Decker

#58 Amber Heard

#57 Eva Mendes

(This woman stole our boyfriend! There is NOTHING hot about that.)

#56 Emmy Rossum

#55 Rachel McAdams

#54 Kamala Harris

#53 Shakira

#52 Bar Paly

#51 Brittany Snow

#50 Lake Bell

#49 Sofia Vergara

#48 Nina Dobrev

  #47 Ashley Greene

#46 Yvonne Strahovski

#45 Naya Rivera

#44 Sarah Hyland

(Okay, she's 22. But she still looks underage.)

#43 Jordana Brewster

#42 Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

#41 Malin Akerman

#40 Julianne Hough

#39 Lea Michele

  #38 Zoe Saldana

#37 Amanda Seyfried

#36 Leighton Meester

#35 Bérénice Marlohe

#34 Adrianne Palicki

#33 Sarah Shahi

#32 Kaley Cuoco

#31 Charlize Theron

  #30 Hayden Panettiere

#29 Ronda Rousey

#28 Olivia Munn

#27 Danielle Fishel

 #26 Demi Lovato

(Demi's talented, sure... but are we the only ones surprised to find her on the Hot 100?)

#25 Katrina Bowden

  #24 Blake Lively

  #23 Heather Graham

#22 Christina Hendricks

#21 Emma Stone

#20 Megan Fox

  #19 Emma Watson

#18 Arianny Celeste

 #17 Jessica Alba

#16 Olivia Wilde

#15 Scarlett Johansson

#14 Beyonce

#13 Taylor Swift

#12 Kate Beckinsale

#11 Katy Perry

#10 Elisha Cuthbert

#9 Vanessa Hudgens

#8 Kate Upton

  #7 Ashley Tisdale

#6 Jennifer Love Hewitt

(Great choice... in 1998.)

#5 Jennifer Lawrence

#4 Mila Kunis

#3 Rihanna

#2 Selena Gomez

#1 Miley Cyrus

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Which Maxim hottie do you think should be #1

Photos Courtesy of Maxim