Update: The NYPD have responded to Amanda's sexual harassment claims with a statement that reads: "NYPD Internal Affairs investigators have found no evidence to corroborate Ms. Bynes' allegations. To the contrary, a credible civilian witness who was with the officers throughout told investigators that none touched Ms. Bynes inappropriately or otherwise engaged in misconduct at any time."
Most of us enjoyed having a long weekend off, but Amanda Bynes' brand of crazy never gets any vacation days.
After her drug arrest and psychiatric evaluation last Thursday, followed by a wig-tastic court appearance the following morning, we didn't think things could get much worse for Amanda. But oh, they did ever. In less than 72 hours, she managed to use her Twitter page to attack the NYPD, her parents and Rihanna, while also declaring plans to launch a music career.
Check out our rundown of the Memorial Day weekend version of The Amanda Show!
Friday Afternoon: Racism To Kick Off The Holiday Weekend
Amanda doesn't seem to like black people very much. She called Jay-Z an "ugly face" earlier this year and then referred to a photographer who allegedly sold photos of her last week as an "ugly black man." As she made her way back home from court last Friday, Amanda launched into an in-person "ugly black man" tirade at a photographer who was way out of line in trying to take pictures of her.
TMZ showed footage of the man repeatedly pulling off the towel she was using to cover her face before she made her over-the-top comment. When accused of racism, she insisted that "It's just your face. It's not a black thing... There's an ugly white one. It's not racist."
We'll give her props for speaking her mind, at least...
Friday Evening: Amanda Wants More Wigs
Despite recently shaving half her head, Amanda decided to show up to court wearing a wig that made her look like she worked the 3 AM shift at your local Waffle House. That night, she tweeted that she needed "Nicki Minaj's wig person stat." Considering that Nicki has definitely rocked some hot mess wigs in her day, we can't tell if this was a thinly veiled barb at the singer or if she genuinely admires her fashion.
And despite a DUI to her name and numerous eyewitness accounts of her smoking pot, Amanda denied all the drug allegations against her. "I only smoke tobacco. I don't drink or do drugs. I've never had a bong in my life!" she tweeted.
Saturday Morning: What Does Vagina Slapping Even Look Like?
Remember the classic skit from Chappelle's Show, "What did the five fingers say to the face? Slap!" Well, Amanda claimed the NYPD re-enacted it on her vagina...
Amanda said she called police after one of the cops who arrested her "slapped my vagina" and sexually assaulted her. She admitted resisting arrest, but then said she was denied access to her attorney while undergoing a psychiatric evaluation at a local hospital. The NYPD claims they are now investigating her allegations despite her "credibility or lack thereof."
Either way, we can't help but imagine the situation in our head. Was it an open-palm vagina slap or a backhand? Did the cop do it repeatedly while yelling, "Bad vagina! Bad vagina!" Will we soon see a Twitter account for her vagina so it can tell its side of the story?
Sunday Morning: Not Even Amanda's Parents Are Safe From Her Lawsuits
Amanda's lawyer fees could single-handedly get America out of debt. After declaring plans to sue three separate media outlets, the NYPD and the cop who arrested her, Amanda announced plans to do the same to her parents! She declared that she no longer speaks to her parents because "they had been stealing my money without knowing." Despite their vocal efforts to try and get help for their daughter, she made the unbelievably harsh statement that she would "rather them be homeless than live off my money."
Sunday Evening: Amanda vs Rihanna
In a series of tweets that she posted and then quickly deleted, Amanda inexplicably attacked Rihanna by declaring that "Chris Brown beat you because you're not pretty enough," then followed up by saying that Rihanna was ugly for "tryn to be white." Luckily, Rihanna delivered one hell of a KO in response. (She probably learned it from Breezy, but that's a separate issue...)
Rihanna, 1: Amanda, 0.