Well, you can stop waiting. The apocalypse is here.

Yes, Hollywood has decided it is time to make a movie based on a meme, even though the average life span of a meme is, oh, six seconds, while a movie lasts a whole two hours.

The Grumpy Cat meme will soon have his own Garfield-style feature film. The kitty (actual name: Tardar Sauce) will also be given a voice. As producer Todd Garner puts it: “This started off as a picture of a cat, but rare is an image that evokes that much comedy. You read all of the memes and the comments, and one is funnier than the next. We think we can build a big family comedy around this character.”

Think that grouchy face won’t be consistently funny for 90 minutes or more? You’re not alone. We’re making our own Grumpy Cat face at the idea of memes being turned into movies, and in fact, we’ve even made a meme about it. But since you can’t buck a trend that Hollywood is determined to wring money out of, we’re going ahead and suggesting some other popular memes that could be made into movies…

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No, none of these are good ideas. Not by a long shot. But neither is a Grumpy Cat movie, most likely.Not everything that makes you smile or even chuckle at your computer desk can sustain a full two hours on the big screen, since even most Saturday Night Live skits have a hard time filling that running time. Memes were meant to be quick jokes based on one picture and a simple idea ― not stories with multiple characters and plot turns. But what do we know? There’s already an Angry Birds movie in the works, so clearly this was inevitable…

Here are Hollywire’s suggestion for more meme-to-movie adaptations!

 

IKEA Monkey: The Movie

A large Swedish corporation’s scientific experiment to prove that even a monkey could assemble cheaply-made furniture goes horribly awry. A monkey inexplicably shows up in an IKEA, showing customers how to put difficult-to-assemble furniture together (he can read Swedish). Meanwhile, a bunch of IKEA shoppers inexplicably find themselves in a jungle and are mauled by wild animals.

 

Ermahgerd: The Movie

A threesome of nerdy friends get really excited over nerdy things, but no one can understand what they’re saying because they talk like “Ermahgerd!” Any other character they interact with says “What?”, then shakes their head and walks away. Unable to communicate with the outside world, the trio soon learns that “three’s a crowd” when a love triangle forms, threatening to isolate one of them forever.

 

Honey Badger: The Movie

A grizzled old cop facing his last week on the job before retirement is partnered up with a daredevil honey badger with no regard for any other animal whatsoever. The old cop is constantly put in slapstick danger as the honey badger doesn’t give a sh*t about the danger he’s placing them in, chasing jackals and taking on the Russian mafia with abandon. To make matters worse ― eww, what’s that, a mouse? Original narrator to be replaced by Morgan Freeman.

 

Success Kid: The Movie

Success Kid is raised cheering about a series of small victories. But what happens when he grows into young adulthood and finds himself in the midst of the economic recession? Success Kid meets failure for the first time and is forced to move back in with his parents, sulking until he meets a pixie-like dreamgirl who shows him the meaning of success again.

 

Dog Shaming: The Movie

This hard-hitting documentary follows a number of pets who have been shamed by their masters. What is the psychological effect on a dog whose supposed “best friend” has put embarrassing photos of them on the internet? The study reveals that canine depression in these animals is at an all-time high, with many of them coping through gambling, substance abuse or sex addiction to ease the pain of being shamed.

 

Double Rainbow: The Movie

A rainbow appears in the sky. And then ― miracle of miracles ― another! Only one down-on-her-luck diner waitress who was recently dumped by her cheating boyfriend remains immune to the joy. But as the inhabitants of a small town get more and more giddy, she begins to suspect there could be something sinister about this double rainbow. Investigating a series of violent attacks in small towns, the waitress learns that all of them experienced double rainbows just before the town’s inhabitants turned on each other. Now, the waitress must pretend to experience the pure, unadulterated elation of her fellow townspeople, because suddenly they’re turning violent over who loves the double rainbow more…

 

McKayla Is Not Impressed: The Movie

Princess McKayla of a magical fictional kingdom must be married to a rich suitor to ensure the survival of a land that has been plagued by drought and famine. Though many suitors are charmed by her beauty, spunk, and athletic prowess, McKayla is not impressed by any of them. The suitors must constantly one-up each other in hopes of turning that sideways scowl into a smile, but nothing they manage seems to impress her even slightly… so one prince embarks on a dangerous journey to find the rarest of rare gems, which can only be wrested free of a dragon’s claw through a series of life-threatening trials.

 

David After Dentist: The Movie

Coming soon to Sundance ― a drama about a young boy who gets a taste of getting high at a very early age, then spends his early grade school years trying to replicate the trippy experience that makes him ask, "Is this real life?" He experiences confusion, then rage, then defeat as he sells his toys, clothes, lunch money ― anything he can get his hands on in hopes of one day being able to save up enough to go back to that dentist.

 

Dramatic Chipmunk: The Movie

A once-happily-married chipmunk finds herself single for the first time after being accused by her husband of constant overreaction. The new divorcee goes on a journey of self-discovery across Europe, reacting dramatically to all the wonders she sees, eventually meeting a squirrel who is quite taken with her. But can she suppress her dramatic reactions to every little thing he says and does, or will he ever accept her easily excitable nature?

 

Charlie Bit Me: The Movie

An innocent playdate with baby brother Charlie takes a turn for the worse when the older boy starts experiencing some "changes" mere minutes after being bitten. Bouts of rage. The sharpening of teeth. Silvery scales on his arms and legs. He soon realizes he’s transforming into some otherworldly creature… but what? And is his brother innocent or in on it?

 

Hey Girl: The Movie

Ryan Gosling plays a handsome charmer who decides to pop into the lives of random young women, bringing their every dream and fantasy to life. It seems too good to be true… until a private investigator notices that these young women are soon disappearing…

Which meme do you think should be a movie?