If you haven't had your morning coffee yet, it won't be necessary after this visual is burned into your head.
Michael Douglas, now receiving rave reviews for his work as Liberace in Behind the Candelabra, fought a six-month battle with throat cancer from August 2010 until January 2011, when he was finally given the all-clear by doctors. He originally thought the cancer came from years of excess smoking and drinking, but recently revealed that it came from... well, something we didn't ever want to envision Michael doing.
Speaking with British newspaper The Guardian, Michael explained that doctors found a tumor on his tongue and "without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV (Human Papilloma Virus), which actually comes about from cunnilingus."
Well, that sounds pretty specific to us! Either way, men around the world have a documented excuse to try and get out of going down on their wives and girlfriends. (Sorry, ladies.)
HPV is passed on by straight and same-sex partners through penetration, although it also can be passed on through oral sex. The cancer itself isn't contagious, but the virus is, and 80 percent of tumors found in the tonsils and back of the tongue are thought to be a result of HPV.
He was diagnosed with stage four of the disease and underwent intense chemotherapy and radiation, and was eventually given the all-clear. However, he still has to check up with doctors every six months. He also declared: "If you have it, cunnilingus is the best cure for it," but we doubt there are many doctors who will back up that claim...
His wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, is also back to full health after checking out of a treatment facility last month for bipolar disorder. The decision to check in was a "proactive" one for Catherine, who was diagnosed with the disorder several years ago.
We're sure Michael can think of one way to keep her in a good mood...
What do you think of Michael's TMI revelation?
Photos courtesy of Getty Images