It’s been almost two years since Katy Perry and Russell Brand announced their split but she’s reliving it all over again with the release of Prism, out today. One track that really takes us inside her broken heart is “By the Grace of God” which tells the “autobiographical” story of lying on the bathroom floor, wanting to give up on life.

Katy spoke to The Sunday Times about the song and her split, admitting that she “lost hope” during her divorce from Russell. “I’m not the kind of person who is always like, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ I was in bed for about two weeks,” she said. “I was pretty f—ked, yes. It hurt a lot. I got a good knock.”

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Explaining that while she “had the outward self-identity,” she was depending on someone else for her “inner kind.” “My self-worth was in someone else’s hands which is never a good idea, because it can be taken from you at any time,” she said. “And it was, and it was shattered.” Thankfully, she put all her anger and emotions into writing Prism, which she wanted to call Adult Reality.

Teenage Dream was me so high on that cotton-candy cloud, and then it’s like I got punched in the face and kicked down the stairs a couple times,” Katy explained. “I had to face the reality that things are not always on cloud nine. I was down and out, I’d lost hope.”

But all has turned out well for Katy, as she released her painfully honest Prism today and is as happy as could be with John Mayer, who she calls his “cinematic crush” to W magazine. “I actually am dating my crush. I had a crush on [John Mayer] for a long time, and it just so happens we fit together great.”

Have you taken a listen to Katy’s Prism?

What’s your favorite track off the album?