The Coen Brothers, Brad Pitt, Frances MacDormand, George Clooney, John Malkovich, Jason Statham, fast cars piloted by maximum security prisoners, a British guy pestered by dead people and Leslie Nealson back with another of his trademark spoofs. Sounds like it’s time for a few nights at home!

Burn After Reading (2008), R, 96 mins.

True to their form, the Coen Brothers have brought us a truly unique film that isn’t even really about anything, it’s more of a cross-section of modern America with a bizarre situation thrown into the mix. The movie is about the characters, not the story, and it’s clever and fascinating from beginning to end.

The movie is centered around a tiny, accidental occurrence that starts a massive sandstorm of chaos for a handful of very, very different people. John Malkovich plays a CIA official named Osborne Cox who is suffering from some kind of mysterious professional persecution when one day his secretary leaves a CD of his work files at the gym, where it is discovered by the janitor and incredulously analyzed by the peculiar staff, ultimately leading to a hair-brained scheme to blackmail Osborne Cox for the lost CD, which is supposedly full of top secret national security information.

The Coen’s lose no time with the profanity and the left-field plot twists, while the actors all clearly have a blast with the story, as do we. See this one!

Eagle Eye (2008), PG-13, 118 mins.

Shia LaBeouf stars as Jerry Damon Shaw, a man who is thrown together with a complete stranger named Rache when both of them receive a mysterious phone call from the same woman that neither of them have ever met.

Under threats to their lives and their families, they are forced into a series of increasingly dangerous and deadly situations, and everyday technology is used to track them.

I believe it was Hitchcock who taught us the most about the effectiveness of throwing ordinary people into extraordinary situations, and while Eagle Eye is not quite Hitchcock material, you could still do a lot worse for a good action flick.

Also starring Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson, and Michael Chiklis.

Ghost Town (2008), PG-13, 102 mins.

Did you see this thing? The first time I heard about it I immediately got the impression that it was a cheap Sixth Sense rip-off, but once you realize that it’s not even remotely in the same genre, it’s a little easier to accept it for what it is.

And what kind of movie is it? It’s a romantic comedy with ghosts, which is also not exactly an original concept but not without it’s charm. I had high hopes about the combination of British aggravation (certainly an endless source of amusement) and ghostly Americans, but there are also times when the ideas in the movie seem as much like fading ghosts as the characters.

Greg Kinnear turns in a charming performance as a ghost faced with the unenviable task of watching helplessly as his wife moves on with her life. Lots of existential questions may flood your mind, but the movie is more concerned with light-hearted laughs. Not a bad date movie, but probably not destined to be a classic…

Death Race (2008), R, 105 mins.

So Jason Statham is by now one of the biggest action stars in the world. He reminds me of a young Bruce Willis, although he’s had his share of hits and misses. Death Race is what I would call a critical disaster, because it has nothing but action and carnage. This thing is thin on everything - plot, story, acting, characters, etc. But what else would you expect from a movie with a title like Death Race? It’s fast, loud, vulgar, and violent, and as far as I’m concerned that’s all that it promises. Works for me.

The movie takes place in 2012 and shows us an American economy in such shambles that the government has resorted to generating revenue by webcasting death row inmates racing each other to death is super-charged vehicles loaded with various types of high-technology military weaponry. At least the war must be over!

It’s low-brow, hardcore action, but there’s tons of cars and carnage and explosions and high-profile criminals and, for reasons which are never clearly explained, hot women, so at least you know what to expect. Can’t wait for the sequel!

Other Popular New DVDs

The Duchess (2008)

An American Carol (2008)

Baghead (2008)

American Teen (2008)

Hamlet 2 (2008)

Savage Grace (2007)

The Best Christmas movies ever is a pretty big topic, and it’s also a remarkably difficult list both to narrow down to the top few and also to put them in order from best to worst. This is not exactly the time of year when Best Christmas Movie lists are very hard to find, but you can be certain of one thing - this is definitely the most accurate one ever!

10. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) TV-G, 25 mins.

Okay, so I’ll start with one that’s not even a movie, but such a classic that it simply can’t be omitted. Who could forget getting all bundled up at Grandma’s house on a cold December morning, content in the kind of happiness that only seems to come to little kids when school is out and the snow is falling and the only thing you have to do all day is sit by the fire drinking hot chocolate and watching things like this on TV.

All the way back in 1965 Charlie Brown complained about the rampant materialism shrouding what is by leaps and bounds America’s most commercially successful holiday. As a kid, the only thing that we really cared about was how many presents we got, or if we got that one thing we so desperately wanted - the cool remote control hovercraft or the Nintendo Entertainment System or a Pogo Ball (remember those?) or that G.I. Joe aircraft carrier or whatever it is that girls liked.

But now it’s all about just trying to afford gifts for everyone on our lists. Somewhere along the line Christmas has a tendency to transform from a time of pure magic and happiness and into a time of stress and spending money. But it is the shows like A Charlie Brown Christmas that first showed us, and now remind us, of what the true meaning of Christmas really is.

9. Gremlins (1984), PG, 106 mins.

So I just watched The Goonies the other day. Remember that scene where Chunk is stuck in the basement at the Fratelli’s place and he calls the sheriff to report everything that’s going on, and the sheriff says something like, “Is this another one of your pranks, Lawrence? Like the story about the cute little animals that multiply when you throw water on them?” So then I got this urge to watch Gremlins again, and that’s why it’s here on this list. Isn’t it amazing the way the world works?

It’s interesting that the story is about a cute little animal called a Mogwai that a guy buys in a strange curio shop in Chinatown. I have been living in China for two years now and the people here tend to be uniformly perplexed by the beginning of this movie.

At any rate, the Mogwai comes with a series of rules, like you can’t get it wet or expose it to bright light and never, ever feed it after midnight. This will definitely be the scariest movie on this list. I remember being pretty terrified by it when I was a kid, but I loved it nevertheless. Christmas is sort of a backdrop to the truly unique story, but the whole movie is developed around it. Definitely a holiday classic!

8. Scrooged (1988), PG-13, 101mins.

Speaking of The Goonies, two years later director Richard Donner tries his hand at a modern adaptation of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Bill Murray plays a cynical television executive who missed out on the kind of happy childhood that results in a natural love of Christmas.

Three truly unique ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future show up in his life to help him appreciate the meaning of Christmas and to learn that he needs to make some changes in his life.

Much was made of the fact that Murray was starring in another movie about ghosts after two successful Ghostbusters films, although some people complained that his character of Frank Cross was unlikeable. I haven’t read A Christmas Carol for many years, but I seem to remember that Ebenezer Scrooge was kind of a stick in the mud, you know? The phrase “miserly old git” comes to mind.

The tagline for the movie is “Bill Murray is back among the ghosts. Only this time, it’s three against one.” Murray gets the chance to prove that, even though he’s alone this time, he still ain’t afraid of no ghosts.

7. Elf (2003), PG, 97 mins.

When I first started compiling my list of Christmas movies in putting together this article, I expected that Elf must be pretty high on the list, but it was tough even to squeeze it in even at #7. Scroll down the rest of the list and you should see why.

Will Farrell has to be one of the two or three funniest men alive right now, but it’s strange that occasionally he comes out with movies that are just so childish and profane that it can be difficult to enjoy them even on a toilet humor level.

Even the good ones are for wildly different audiences. I doubt that much of the target audience for Elf has much use for Old School or the disappointing Step Brothers, but Elf is of that rare breed of Christmas movie that can be enjoyed by just about anyone at any maturity level.

Farrell plays Buddy, a six-foot man raised as an elf at the North Pole after stowing away in Santa’s sack as he left the orphanage where Buddy had been living. I would have thought that stowing away would qualify as naughty behavior, but Santa is pretty forgiving. He allows Buddy to travel to New York to search for his real parents after he begins causing more and more trouble in the elf community because of his prodigious size.

Buddy’s father turns out to be a heartless, money-driven jerk, and Buddy’s efforts to reunite with him and also become accustomed to the pace and reality of New York City life make for a truly heartwarming and entertaining Christmas comedy.

6. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), PG, 104 mins.

Okay, I know I’m gonna get a lot of grief for this one, but I loved this movie. There is a long history to how this movie came to be made, since Dr. Suess refused for decades to sell the movie rights, insisting that the 1966 TV special could never be surpassed. Even after his death in 1991, his widow, Audrey Geisel, still refused to sell the rights. But with the modern magic of CGI effects (and a generous offer from Universal), Mrs. Geisel changed her mind, and even approved the casting of Jim Carrey. Personally, I feel like a blessing from the Good Doctor’s wife is enough for me.

We get a lot more backstory into the childhood of the Grinch than was in the original story, but of course it is the set design and the make-up, along with Jim Carrey’s storied performance, that really makes the movie work.

In the magical town of Whoville, which exists in a snowflake like the one on your sleeve, comes along a story that you must see to believe. The town is defined by the magical time of Christmas, except for one citizen, the Grinch, who lives just outside of town. Christmas causes such misery for him that he sets about a plot to try to steal it from the Whos, until a little girl sets about on her own mission to do what no one ever thought to do, meet the Grinch and become his friend.

5. Die Hard (1987), R, 131 mins.

What, you forgot Die Hard was a Christmas movie? Legendary action director John McTiernan teamed up with Bruce Willis back in 1988 (when gas was 75 cents a gallon) to bring us really the only kind of Christmas movie that people like McTiernan and Willis could bring us.

Willis is John McLane, a New York cop who flies to Los Angeles on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas with his wife. Living on opposite sides of the country because of differing career directions, they have been growing apart, and John has come back to try to convince her to come back to New York with him.

Unfortunately, during a special Christmas party in the Nakatomi Plaza building, where McLane’s wife works, a group of terrorists take everyone hostage and begin to make bizarre demands. McLane is the only person in the  building who manages to escape the attention of the terrorists, so it is up to him alone to deal with a situation involving dozens of hostages, 12 armed terrorists, one estranged wife, and a partridge in a pear tree. Happy Holidays!

4. Edward Scissorhands (1990), PG-13, 105 mins.

Edward Scissorhands was definitely a defining moment for Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and the spirit of Christmas. With a title character that would have been unacceptably bizarre in the hands of anyone other than Tim Burton, it is probably one of the most unique and original presentations of a Christmas movie ever made. Until three years later, of course.

Edward is a gentle and soft-spoken young man who lives on the edge of society because he is the unfinished creation of an inventor who died before he could be completed, leaving Edward with metal scissors for hands.

A kind Avon lady named Peg meets him and invites him into the community, where he is an object of fascination and lust, until the reality of what he is begins to set in and things take a turn for the worse.

The drama and romance and fantasy are all set against the backdrop of Christmas with remarkable results. Christmas plays a relatively small part in the movie, but the meaning and spirit are always center stage.

3. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), PG, 76 mins.

Just three years after Edward Scissorhands, Tim Burton returns with another of his own brand of Christmas movie. Like Edward, Jack Skellington discovers seemingly insurmountable differences between himself and a world that he desperately wants to join.

He is the King of Halloweentown but soon grows bored and disillusioned with his life as the Pumpkin King, and when he discovers Christmas he learns that darkness and death might very well not be the best things that life, or the lack thereof, has to offer.

Unfortunately, Jack encounters some difficulties related to his appearance when he tries to take over the job of Santa, and his plans of bringing Christmas to the world begin to fall apart.

Incidentally, the movie wasn’t directed by Tim Burton, but the stunning go-motion animation and the world of Halloweentown and Christmastown are something that could only belong in a Burton film, and the fascinating combination of Christmas and Halloween allows for a unique and interesting perspective in how we appreciate two of our most popular holidays. Even among the most enduring classics, The Nightmare Before Christmas is definitely one of the most popular and widely-loved Christmas movies ever made.

2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989), PG-13, 97 mins.

Interestingly enough, Christmas Vacation was the last movie written by John Hughes, and surely not by coincidence, the last one that was any good. It’s impossible for me to think about Christmas anymore without my head flooding with hilarious memories of the Griswold family Christmas of 1989.

Shunning any classic Christmas stories, Hughes gives us a story about Clark Griswold, his wife and two teenage children as they prepare for a major family Christmas gathering at their home. In true National Lampoon form, everything goes wrong but the Griswold’s all struggle to maintain happy faces and the Christmas spirit as things go from bad to worse.

The endless stream of disasters wreak havoc of the Griswold’s, particularly Clark, as they prepare for the holiday gathering and then deal with their nightmarish family. Filled with enduringly classic scenes, Christmas Vacation rests comfortably among the best Christmas movies, the ones that you never seem to get sick of watching even numerous times every year.

“I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”

Bring on the eggnog!

1. Miracle on 34th Street (1947), G, 96 mins.

Okay mom, this one’s for you! All my life, Miracle on 34th Street has been a holiday staple in the DeZubiria (and Wirth) households, and it remains one of my own beloved mother’s all-time favorite movies, something that cheers her up whether it’s the holiday season or not. For that reason alone, it earns the #1 spot on my list of the Best Christmas movies ever made.

A charming old man discovers a department store Santa Claus to be drunk and berates him for his behavior, earning himself the job. He becomes a major hit with customers and their kids, but his no-nonsense boss, Ms. Walker, has reservations about him when she learns that he calls himself Kris Kringle and claims to be the real Santa Claus.

Ms. Walker has trained herself and her young daughter to reject any fantastical notions like the thought that Santa Claus might be real, but people begin to notice that there is certainly something special about this Kris Kringle, who brings about the true meaning and spirit of Christmas in the most unlikely ways, even among the rampant commercialism that surrounds him.

Sadly, Kringle suffers the fate that would probably welcome Jesus himself were he to visit us here on earth and attempt to celebrate his own birthday with us. Kringle is subjected to a cruel interrogation by an incompetent psychologist, ultimately landing himself in a mental institution where he deliberately fails a mental examination, virtually ensuring that he will get himself committed.

Just when all seems to be hopelessly lost for him, support and belief in him blossoms from the most unlikely places, culminating in a peculiar hearing where the very beliefs of the masses are put to the test to determine whether or not the man who calls himself Kris Kringle really is the true Santa Claus.

Miracle on 34th Street has now been one of the most universally loved Christmas movies in the world for over 60 years, and even six decades after its release it remains one of the most heart-warming and wonderful celebrations of Christmas ever filmed. Bravo!

Honorable Mention

It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) - I know, this is a serious omission, but in a time when Best Christmas movies are making their annual take-over of the internet, I had to at least do one thing that was different from all the rest! Don’t miss this one!

The Polar Express (2004)

Frosty the Snowman (1969) (TV)

How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) (TV)

A Christmas Story (1983)

Home Alone (1990)

Conspicuously Absent

Bad Santa (2003) - Bad Santa is not included in this list because it has the most profanity of any Christmas movie ever made. Oh, and also because it sucked.

The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), PG-13, 112 mins.

Rick and Evelyn O’Connell are back for another mummified adventure, this time sharing the same last name and failing at a half-hearted attempt to settle down to a quiet life in the English countryside. It doesn’t take a lot of convincing to get them to get involved in an assignment to deliver a priceless artifact to China, where their son Alex is secretly excavating an ancient tomb.

The tomb that he is excavating is the real-life tomb of Emperor Qin (never opened to this day), which lies near the Chinese city of Xi’an, next to the buried army of thousands of life-sized terra-cotta warriors (also very real). Needless to say, the artifact being delivered turns out to be more than meets the eye, and soon a curse is unleashed which brings the despotic Dragon Emperor back to life, and it’s up to Rick and Evelyn to stop him from uniting China under his brutal rule.

There is an interesting juxtaposition of the time period of the film with real events in China at that time. Less than two years after the movie takes place, Mao Tse-tung - who quite likely is personally responsible for more deaths than any single person who has ever lived in the history of mankind (more than 70 million) - proclaimed the founding of the People’s Republic of China and united China for 27 years under his own brutal rule.

Of course, none of this comes through in the movie, but it’s interesting nonetheless. The movie’s packed with special effects, too little Jet Li, and too much of Brendan Fraser’s trademark bad acting. But at least it was better than Journey to the Center of the Earth…

Mamma Mia! (2008), PG-13, 108 mins.

The enormously popular Mamma Mia is the story of a young woman named Sophie who, just before getting married herself, learns that any one of three men might possibly be her father. Without telling her mother, she invites all three men to her wedding.

The ABBA-fueled chaos that follows is a remarkably charming and entertaining romantic comedy. Meryl Streep rushes headlong into an inspired performance as Donna, Sophie’s mother, fully enjoying the show just as much as we are. Pierce Brosnan is nearly as good, and just the fact that he makes it so easy for us to see him as anything other than James Bond is an achievement in itself.

For those of us old enough to remember the days when ABBA was at their peak (I’m not one of those unfortunately), the movie will be a wonderful trip down memory lane. For the rest of us, whether or not you consider yourself an ABBA fan, Mamma Mia has an impressive ability to bring out the party spirit in all of us. Enjoy!

Traitor (2008), PG-13, 114 mins.

Traitor is a unique spy thriller that doesn’t exactly cover a lot of new ground in the spy-thriller vein, but is still very impressive in how it introduces a series of major existential questions without presuming to have all the answers, and also approaches some of the most sensitive political issues of our time without itself coming off as a political film.

Don Cheadle plays the part of Samir Horn, a devout American Muslim with a complicated past living in Yemen and making an unenviable but honest living but unfortunately showing up repeatedly on the FBI’s radar for being potentially involved in a series of terrorist bombings.

Guy Pearce is Roy Clayton, an FBI agent heading up an investigation into Horn’s possible connection to the bombings, when some terrorists break out of prison and bring Horn with them. Clayon links Horn to the bombing of an American consulate in southern France and must capture him before he strikes his next target, while Horn himself struggles with being labeled a terrorist and his inability to prove himself innocent.

Horn is an intricately designed character with much more depth than is common in modern films, and almost single-handedly makes the movie worth watching. It’s a complex and contradictory film, but makes for a powerful and moving exploration of some of the most important issues in the current political climate. It’s not all fun and games, but may be one of the most thought-provoking films to have come along in quite some time.

Note: Traitor will be released on December 19th.

The House Bunny (2008), PG-13, 97 mins.

Anna Faris’ latest film reveals to the public that she still has no interest in performing in movies that have a single, echoing thought in their head. The House Bunny almost cancels itself out just by the kind of movie it is. It’s an immature, adolescent sex-comedy that’s rated PG-13, so it can’t even have any nudity, which is about 90% of what it’s own target audience is looking for.

But the built-in contradictions don’t stop there. The whole story is about an exiled Playboy Bunny who takes it upon herself to help a group of social outcasts make their classmates respect them for who they are by turning them into a bunch of slutty frat party favors.

How’s that again? At any rate, it’s sad that someone as beautiful and clearly talented as Anna Faris keeps acting in such astonishingly stupid sex comedies like this and the Scary Movies, which are, believe it or not, leaps and bounds worse than The House Bunny.

When Hollywood farts, out comes something like this. I recommend you check out Mamma Mia or Traitor, or just watch The Dark Knight again!

Note: The House Bunny will be released on December 19th.

The Dark Knight, arguably the best movie to come along in a decade, makes its long-awaited DVD debut this week, heading up a relatively short list of new releases. Not that that matters much, of course, because this movie is so good that there not really  much reason to look for anything else now that you can finally get a copy of your own!

The Dark Knight not only shattered records and flew past expectations, but it completely redefined the very nature of who Batman is and even revolutionized the comic book movie subgenre itself. Obviously, it is Heath Ledger’s powerhouse performance as The Joker that stands far above the rest of the cast, but the movie is full of big names and brilliant performances.

Batman continues his tireless efforts to bring order to Gotham City and round up the criminals that plague the streets, but just when he seems to be making progress the mysterious and morbidly fascinating psychopath known as The Joker emerges, challenging Batman’s beacon of goodness and hope with his own peculiar brand of random but overwhelming violence and terror. In confronting this new enemy, Batman is forced to confront everything he believes and everything he thought he knew about himself.

Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gory Oldman, and Morgan Freeman.

Directed by Christopher Nolan

The Dark Knight (2008), PG-13, 152 mins.

Horton Hears a Who comes off as a run of the mill animated kid’s movie, but it’s actually pretty charming. The message of respecting everyone as a person no matter how small is just a little too happy and neatly packaged, but the movie treads much more treacherous (and more interesting) waters when it introduces a character who dislikes Horton teaching the rest of his community to believe in something they can’t see. Besides, the story is unique and the animation is outstanding. And check out that cast! I imagine if you were impressed with A Bug’s Life you may also get a kick out of this one.

Horton is an elephant who, using his giant elephant ears, hears a cry for help literally coming from a speck of dust. Upon closer inspection, he realizes that there is a whole community living on that speck of dust, and they call themselves Whos. After meeting the mayor of Whoville, Horton agrees to keep the speck of dust in a safe place, but finds himself in all sorts of trouble when he begins telling his friends in his own community about his new discovery.

Voices provided by: Jim Carrey, Steve Carell, Carol Burnett, Will Arnett, and Seth Rogen.

Directed by Jimmy Hayward and Steve Martino

Horton Hears a Who (2008), G, 86 mins.

Other Hot New DVDs:

I Am Legend

Tropic Thunder

WALL-E

Kung Fu Panda

Get Smart

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Short list of new DVDs this week, but despite immediate impressions they all seem to be pretty interesting in their own way. Tina Fey, Jackie Chan and Jet Li head up the list of new releases this week, but there’s a new Indian film that looks far more fascinating than anything we usually see these days. And I might add that Special Editions of The Big Lebowski and Cool Hand Luke are also out.  Here are the rest of the details -

BABY MAMA (2008), Romantic Comedy, PG-13, 99 mins.

Baby Mama is an immediate turn-off to me at first glance, although I’m not sure exactly why. It could be that I’m just not into baby comedies anymore, if I ever was. But it should be noted that this is a Saturday Night Live comedy with an outstanding cast, including Tina Fey, Amy Poehler (with the Big Gulp), Sigourney Weaver, Greg Kinnear, and Steve Martin (who we also have to thank for Traitor).

Fey plays Kate Holbrook, a professional woman who has for years neglected her personal life in pursuit of a successful career. Now, at age 37, she suddenly determines herself to have a baby, only to discover that she has an infinitely small possibility of conceiving. Undaunted, she embarks on a mission to find the kookiest blonde imaginable to be her surrogate mother.

Middle-aged, ultra-organized Kate begins an intense self-preparation program for motherhood, reading books about pregnancy and infant care, preparing her home for a new baby, and researching quality schools in her area. Angie (Poehler), however, soon shows up without a place to live, and in classic sit-com mode, the movie combines the super-successful with the super-unsuccessful, and their competing methods of preparing for a baby create all manner of havoc.

Don’t expect a cognitive workout, but it’s actually a pretty heartwarming family comedy.

THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (2008), Action/Adventure/Comedy/Romance, PG-13, 113 mins.

The long-awaited pairing of Jackie Chan and Jet Li, China’s most prominent ass-kicking movie stars, arrives this week on DVD with The Forbidden Kingdom. I’m going to go ahead and admit that at the time of this writing I have yet to see the movie, but I have to say that the premise gives me a deep feeling of unease at the future of the international kung-fu movie scene.

Jet Li plays the part of The Monkey King, while Jackie Chan plays an old pawn shop owner in Chinatown. One day an American teenager who is obsessed with Chinese martial arts cinema is in the pawn shop and discovers the legendary weapon of the Monkey King which soon sends him to ancient China where he teams up with some Chinese warriors from old lore on a mission to rescue the imprisoned king.

I have heard good things about the movie, but I also know that one of the most effective ways to ridicule any topic, genre, idea, or culture is to add cinematic versions of American teenagers. That just never goes well. Nevertheless, Jackie Chan has been pretty reliable with the cool combinations of action and comedy, and teaming up with Jet Li is reason enough by itself to check it out.

THE FALL (2006), Adventure/Drama/Fantasy, R, 113 mins.

This is going to be my recommendation for the week. It’s the story of Hollywood stuntman in 1920s Los Angeles who lands himself in the hospital while trying to perform a stunt to impress his girlfriend. While in the hospital, he becomes severely depressed and suicidal after his girlfriend leaves her, and he befriends his bedridden roommate, a young girl named Alexandria.

He entertains and enchants Alexandria with vivid, heroic stories about five people uniting to fight a common enemy, setting the stage for fact and fiction to blend together in the drug-ridden hospital environment. He has real affection for Alexandria, but is also gaining her friendship for the purpose of using her to get extra morphine so he can commit suicide.

Definitely a weird premise, but I’ve also noticed that weird premises are generally where the most interesting movies come from. Stories based on stories within stories allow for the most memorable and fascinating experiences, and Indian director Tarsem Singh’s The Fall presents a story that allows a total break from reality and an entrance into a complete fantasy world, reminding me of some classics like The Princess Bride, The Neverending Story, Labyrinth, and even The Cell. See this one.

THE PROMOTION (2008), R, 85 Mins.

Seann William Scott and John C. Reilly play Doug and Richard, a couple of regular guys eagerly seeking the same grocery store management job in The Promotion, which is a much more subtle comedy than you might expect from them. I’m glad to see a comedy come along that doesn’t rely on toilet humor and doesn’t star a lot of cardboard characters but real people, even though both of the main stars may be best known for playing cardboard caricatures.

Both have real families and real problems, real needs to get the job managing a new supermarket and, best of all, they like each other. It’s two guys in a healthy competition with each other, there are no bad guys. Both are trying to get ahead in the cut-throat business world, but neither feels comfortable with the back-stabbing and betrayal that such progress so often requires. This takes a bit away from a winner-take-all conclusion but for a better story like this, that seems like a worthwhile sacrifice.

MARRIED LIFE (2007), Crime/Drama/Romance, PG-13, 90 mins.

A 1940’s-set drama about a man with a truly twisted sense of moral logic. Rather than put his wife through the humiliation of a divorce because of his own adultery, he instead plots to kill her. Harry and Pat have what their friends call a “good marriage,” but he has fallen out of love with her and into love with a younger woman. Richard, played by Pierce Brosnan, is Harry’s best friend, and manages to fall for the same woman, leaving him with the difficult choice of marrying the first woman he has ever considered tying the knot with (he compares marriage to getting the flu) and betraying his best friend, or letting her go and allowing Harry to go through with his dark plan.

Harry’s stark determination is more than a little disturbing, not the least reason for which is because he tests out his murderous scheme in advance by trying it out on the dog. The destruction of innocence around him tells us a lot about Harry, and it reveals the movie as more of a character-driven drama than a film noir or thriller. It’s an interesting exploration of a major part of our modern social culture and poses the important question of how much you really know the person who sleeps next to you. If nothing else, be suspicious of mysterious pet deaths!

THEN SHE FOUND ME (2008), Comedy/Drama/Romance, R, 100 mins.

Then She Found Me has a plot that makes me think of a screenwriter with a lot of ideas trying to squeeze as many of them into the same movie as possible. A New York schoolteacher’s life is turned upside down as, in quick succession, her husband leaves her, her adoptive mother dies, and her biological mother shows up in her life and tries to begin a relationship with her, at the same time as she is beginning a romantic relationship with the father of one of her students.

But despite having a thick and seemingly interesting plot, the movie was a bit of a critical failure, so beware. Helen Hunt stars and directs, and the movie also boasts a surprisingly long list of good actors, including Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler and Colin Firth. It’s a tearjerker to say the least, and the plot thickening seems endless. Bette Midler plays the biological mother, who chooses this difficult time to reintroduce herself into April’s (Hunt) life, and an intense session of “goodbye sex” with her husband on his way out the door results in an unplanned pregnancy which introduces all manner of new problems into her quickly transforming life.

REPRISE (2008), Drama, R, 105 mins.

Joachim Trier’s Reprise is an engaging exploration of the transition between the hopeful and dream-filled time of youth and the crash into reality as adulthood begins with shocking speed. The movie starts off with 20-year-olds Phillip and Erik mailing off their debut novels and dreaming of exciting careers as cult authors, and deals with the issues that they encounter when one becomes somewhat successful but suffers a nervous breakdown, while the other has a harder time selling his novel and has to balance his determination and drive to succeed with the fact that his role model is deteriorating before his eyes.

This is writer/director Trier’s third film, and it won several national awards in his native Norway.

It’s a strange mix of new movies out on DVD this week, but for the most part, it seems pretty clear which ones are worth seeing and which are going to put you to sleep. There are many more politically charged movies out this week than usual, but a good mix of other stuff, too. I recommend Son of Rambow and Chicago 10.  See the rest at your own risk!

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS (2008), Romance/Comedy, PG-13, 99 mins.

Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz star in this romantic comedy as a couple who got married during a wild night in Vegas. Thankfully the movie understands how tired that premise is, so it attempts to complicate matters by intertwining their fates around a multi-million dollar jackpot that prevents them from just annulling the marriage quickly and quietly like Britney Spears did. Required by the courts to continue their marriage for at least six months, they each set about on a mission to make the other so desperate to get out of the marriage that they will request a separation, which includes forfeiture of the prize money. Cameron’s character is a determined career woman, while Kutcher eases through a performance as a perpetual goof-off. ‘Til death do us part, indeed!

But don’t try this at home kids. Your odds of winning millions in Vegas and accidentally marrying Cameron Diaz in the same night remain slim…

REDBELT (2008), Action/Drama, R, 99 mins.

A peaceful martial arts master is manipulated into participating in a highly commercialized ultimate fighting championship by a group of actors and fight promoters, changing his path in life completely. Tim Allen has a lot to prove in this turn from his traditional comedy fare.  Here, he stars as an action movie star with an intensely dysfunctional marriage.

Faced with no options but to get in the ring and fight, the jujitsu master may be in for the fight of his life. It sounds like a typical martial arts movie, but writer/director David Mamet also gave us The Untouchable, Ronin, Heist, and a great many others, so it’s reasonable to expect more.

SON OF RAMBOW (2008), Comedy/Drama, PG-13, 96 mins. “Make Believe. Not War.”

Son of Rambow at first glance looks like a goofy children’s movie, but don’t be fooled. It’s set in England during one summer in the early 80s, and tells the story about friendship and the difficulties of growing up. Told through the eyes of Will, the eldest son of a Plymoth Brethren family that forbids him any contact with such “worldlies” as music and TV, until he becomes involved with Lee Carter, a young man at his school who makes home movies. Carter shows Will Rambo: First Blood, and having never seen a movie, Will is understandably blown away. He quickly agrees to be a stuntman in Carter’s next movie, leading to a reckless adventure through the world of amateur filmmaking and sudden popularity.

I’m always curious about movies that explore the possibilities of filmmaking, and this is one of the purest forms. Filmmaking changes Will’s life completely, and the adventures and difficulties that he and Carter have together make for a fascinating story and a pretty wild ride. See this one.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS OSAMA BIN LADEN? (2008), Documentary, PG-13, 93 mins.

Morgan Spurlock burst into the filmmaking world with a bang back in 2004 with the spectacular documentary Super Size Me, and after various other projects (including the sporadically interesting television series “30 Days”), he has now returned to the documentary world with the almost unnoticed Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden?

Spurlocks left-leaning political tendencies have peeked through in his films before (you remember the scene in Super Size Me where he shows a young boy a picture of George W. Bush and asks him who it is, and the boy says, “Jesus?” “No,” Spurlock replies, “but it’s a good guess!”), but now it seems he has pulled out all the stops.

I think we realize that the quest to locate and capture bin Laden has been largely a failure, but I’m not sure it should be Morgan Spurlock, who has not a lick of military or intelligence experience, who should be making a movie about his own personal search for the man. That’s highly politicized entertainment that can’t really go anywhere.

CHICAGO 10 (2007), Documentary/Animation, R, 110 mins.

This animated documentary uses an unconventional approach to tell the story of eight anti-war protesters who were put on trial for conspiracy following the 1968 Democratic National Convention. It’s a moving story about young Americans demanding to be heard by their next president and being greeted with tear gas, night sticks, and prison in response. Reminds me of the Chinese goverment’s reaction to the students’ protests in Tiananmen Square in 1989. Scary to think that that stuff has happened here too…

In the current, highly polarized political climate, it’s interesting to see something that took place 40 years ago in Chicago in front of a live audience of 50 million that also completely divided the country in two. The story is told using a bold style of animation, extraordinary archive footage, and an intense selection of revolutionary music. See this one, too!

AUGUST (2008), Drama, R, 88 mins.

Taking place in the final month before America was changed forever, August tells the story of two brothers running an online business called Landshark on Wall Street together and struggling to keep it afloat. Like Enron, there is never really much of an explanation of what Landshark is or what they do, it just exists as a plot point and then disappears when it needs to.

The film is unfortunately predictable and the juxtaposition with September 11th turns out to be meaningless, as it has nothing to do with the character change in the movie. It’s about a superficial man trying to cope with a failed company, not trying to realign himself with social realities around him, as you might expect from a film advertised through the very title as taking place just before a national tragedy.

POSTAL (2007), Action/Comedy/Thriller, R, 100 mins.

Here’s a pretty clear warning for you, Postal is written and directed by Uwe Boll, who is widely (and justifiably) considered to be the worst director alive. Personally, I would go a step further and say possibly the worst director who ever lived. IMDB.com lists what might be his two most famous movies, House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, among the 100 worst movies of all time. You remember those, right? I do. My eyes still hurt from House of the Dead, which, like Postal, is made from a video game.

That being said, it would be a safe and wise assumption that Postal is a great movie to avoid at all costs. If you’re not convinced yet, check this out- it’s about an unemployed regular guy who decides to heist an amusement park, only to discover that the Taliban are planning the same heist. Now he has to “take on” terrorists as well as political figures.

But in the movie’s defense, there’s gotta be a good drinking game in there somwhere.

Okay, that’s kind of a goofy title I admit, but with the release of the new horror film Mirrors, I have been moved to put up a few recent movies for those of you who enjoyed it and want to see something similar, or for those of you who don’t want to waste your money at the movies but still want to see something similar. I’m always down to check out a good psychological thriller, so feel free to make any suggestions if you think I missed any…

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE (2004), R, Crime/Drama/Horror, 119 mins.

Quite possibly the most genuinely scary movie I’ve ever seen. At first glance it seems like a rip-off of The Exorcist, but The Exorcism of Emily Rose is very much its own movie. It’s a courtroom legal thriller about a death resulting from an exorcism, and it would make John Grisham proud. Laura Linney plays the attorney assigned to investigate the man who conducted the exorcism, and we join her as she searches for the truth about what really happened.

It’s an epic battle between science and religion in the courtroom, which I can’t say that I’ve ever seen before. Laura Linney delivers an outstanding performance as the ambitious lawyer, but the real standout is Jennifer Carpenter as Emily Rose. She gives such a brilliant horror performance that they almost don’t need any effects or music. See this one.

THE HAUNTING (1999), Horror/Thriller/Mystery, PG-13, 113 mins.

A remake of the 1963 classic (which in turn in an adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s incredibly eerie 1959 novel “The Haunting of Hill House”), the 1999 version of Jackson’s story features one of the more peculiar premises that I’ve seen in a horror movie. A group of people are brought together and whisked away to a cavernous, allegedly haunted mansion in the middle of the empty woods in order to conduct research about sleeping disorders.

Now, I’m no psychologist, but wouldn’t such a location just introduce all kinds of bizarre variables into the experiment? Soon the experiment turns out to be something other than what they were all told, and ultimately all of the characters find themselves trying to escape for their lives from this haunted mansion.

Starring: Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta Jones, Owen Wilson
Director: Jan de Bont
Written by: David Self, based on the novel by Shirley Jackson

THE HAUNTING (1963), Horror/Thriller, rated G (!!), 112 mins.

Despite a prohibitively tame rating, this is a much creepier film than you might think. They say the original is always better, and this is no exception. Black and white photography allow for more disconnection between yourself and the characters, but somehow make the tense atmosphere more effective. This time, a Dr. Markway is doing research into the existence of ghosts, so he concentrates his investigation on Hill House, which has a frightening history of violence and insanity.

With him are a young skeptic named Luke, a clairvoyant Theodora, and the insecure Eleanor who happesns to have psychic abilities that give her a special ability so sense anything supernatural going on in the mansion. Soon the house begins to manifest itself in horrific and deadly ways…

Starring: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Richard Johnson, Russ Tamblyn, Lois Maxwell, Fay Compton
Director: Robert Wise
Written by: Nelson Gidding

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1999), Horror/Thriller, R, 99 mins.

Despite the harder rating, this one wasn’t much better than the fairly disappointing The Haunting, released the same year. This time we are made to wonder what we would do for a million dollars, as an eccentric billionaire offers a group of people a million bucks each to spend the night in a haunted mansion with a murderous past. They walk into the deal confident that it’s all just a made-up story, and they’re not about to fall for it.

The setting of a former mental institution is far cooler than the former department store in Mirrors, and Geoffrey Rush is wonderfully creepy as Stephen Price, who came up with the devilish plan. The opening scene of the movie shows us how he got rich in a wonderfully scary ride on the new amusement park ride that he has just designed.

Before long, the house automatically seals itself shut and the attitudes of the people inside change radically. There is some chillingly effective imagery brought back from past psychological experiments that were conducted in the hospital, but also plenty of disappointing CGI. Also don’t miss the 1959 original, which stars the great Vincent Price in the lead role…

Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Peter Gallagher, Taye Diggs, Ali Larter, Chris Kattan, Bridgette Wilson
Director: William Malone
Screenplay: Dick Beebe

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IN DREAMS (1999), Psychological Thriller, R, 100 mins.

One of my favorite horror thrillers of the 1990s, In Dreams tells the story of Claire Cooper, a middle-aged mother who begins suffering from disturbing recurring dreams. She dreams of a little girl in her neighborhood being kidnapped, and then her own daughter in kidnapped shortly thereafter, triggering the beginnings of the unravelling of Claire’s sanity. She becomes convinced that her mind and the kidnapper’s mind are connected, but is unable to convince anyone else. A suicide attempt lands her in a padded cell, where she begins having dreams of her husband’s murder.

Robert Downey Jr., who has arguably the best role in Tropic Thunder, was highly underrated when this movie came out. He was having a lot of problems in his personal life, but he has a scene at the end of the movie involving a mirror that surpasses anything in the recently released Mirrors. I remember shouts of surprise throughout the theater when I saw it in 1999.

In Dreams is not for everyone. It has the rare distinction, I think, that there will be people who loved it, people who hated it, and people who just didn’t understand it, with probably not much in between. Unfortunately, it was much more effective on the big screen than on video, but with a healthy twist of the volume knob, it can be made to have virtually the same effect. Just don’t watch it alone if you live out in the woods!

Starring: Annette Bening, Aidan Quinn, Stephen Rea, Robert Downey Jr., Paul Guilfoyle
Director: Neil Jordan
Written by: Bruce Robinson and Neil Jordan, based on the novel “Doll’s Eyes” by Bari Wood

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HAUNTED (1995), Horror/Thriller/Drama, R, 108 mins.

In turn of the century England, a young boy named David loses his twin sister while playing by a lake. He feels responsible for his sister’s death, but he and his family move to the U.S., where they live for nearly the next quarter century before he returns to English to teach at Cambridge University. He’s now a teacher and an accomplished author who exposes false mediums and spiritualists.

After numerous requests, he accepts an invitation from a Miss Webb to investigate so bizarre goings on in her remote mansion, known as Edbrook, where she claims to be tormented by spirits. The movie stars Aidan Quinn and a young Kate Beckinsale. Low on the gore but surprisingly effective.

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SESSION 9 (2001), Horror/Thriller, R, 100 mins. “Fear is a place.”

Probably my favorite in this whole list, Session 9 is one of my favorite underrated horror movies to recommend (it’s lack of wide success may be attributed to the unfortunate fact that it was released three days after Sept. 11th). It’s sort of a character driven story about an asbestos cleaning crew working on cleaning an old insane asylum. Hardly an original setting, but it cleverly works together the conflicting personal lives of the characters with the increasingly strange and frightening surroundings that they find themselves in. Director Brad Anderson (who also directed Christian Bale in The Machinist), knows how to create and maintain tension, and there are more than a few scenes that will have you cringing in your chair. If you only watch one of these movies, this should be the one.

Starring: David Caruso, Stephen Gevedon, and Paul Guilfoyle
Written by: Brad Anderson and Stephen Gevedon

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MADHOUSE (2004), Horror/Thriller, R 91 mins. “Let the insanity begin.”

How could you go wrong with a byline like that? I saw Madhouse on the same day that I saw Session 9, and while this was definitely the less impressive of the two, it still has an interesting story and good tension, but it is also one of those movies that takes place in a mental hospital that is clearly a movie set. You know the type, everything is dark and wet with a greenish tint, and there are always distant, creepy sounds echoing down the hallways.

Lance Henriksen’s talent is wasted here as the hospital director who appears offended that some rookie psychologist intern would insinuate that his filthy, filthy hospital could use some renovation, and he is promptly brought upstairs to the level 5 ward, which of course is without electricity. Nice.

Fans of the genre are sure to have a good time and it’s an interesting installment in the psychological thriller genre, although not necessarily one of the best.

Starring: Joshua Leonard, Jordan Ladd, Natasha Lyonne, and Lance Henriksen
Director: William Butler
Written by: Willian Butler

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WHISPERING CORRIDORS (2005), Drama/Horror, R, 105 mins.

This Korean horror thriller borrows a lot from the horror films that have been pouring out of Japan lately and, while it doesn’t necessarily cover much new ground, it’s still a pretty entertaining thriller. Interestingly, I found that the best thing about the movie were the performances, some of which were outstanding. Acting prowess is generally not something you look for in horror films.

I expected Whispering Corridors to be scarier than it was, but I was still impressed with the consistently creepy mood that permeated the film.
It’s an interesting film that gives some insight into some of the surprising teaching methods practiced in Korea as well as a fairly interesting story. There’s nothing new about haunted schools, but the mixture of that foundational premise and the Korean schoolyard environment make for a pretty interesting combination.

Written, Directed by, and starring a lot of Korean people with Korean names. Just go watch the movie…

“TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES” (Seasons 1 and 2)

Made by the creators of Terminator 3 and taking place after Terminator 2, “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” shows the Connors once again being tormented by Skynet agents from the future. They realize that the nightmarish future hasn’t been prevented even after Miles Dyson sacrificed his life and his life’s work by destroying the T-800 Model 101 Terminator in the second movie, so they continue on their efforts to prevent the founding of Skynet.

The cast is a little confusing, despite being a little too neat. There’s Cameron Phillips, a young woman with a hazy past that’s also linked to the future, Derek Reese, a Tech-Com soldier from the future (with a familiar name) whose past is connected to the Connors, and James Ellison, an FBI agent from the future assigned to capture the Connors until he has a bad experience with one of the machines himself.

Good science fiction presents an image of the future in order to comment on the present, so it’s interesting that the “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” is a story about a small group of people trying to stop the creation of a program that will bring about the end of all mankind, which starts with an alliance between the United States Military and the gigantic Cyberdyne Corporation…

Starring Lena Headey, Thomas Dekker, Summer Glau, and Richard T. Jones

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PROM NIGHT (2008) Horror/Thriller, R, 88 mins.

The original Prom Night is a bland and unoriginal slasher film, first released in 1980 and starring Jamie Lee Curtis, who was a horror superstar at that time after her starring role in John Carpenter’s wildly successful Halloween in 1978. The 2008 Prom Night is not a sequel or a remake, it’s not even really a cash-in on a successful old movie, it’s a cash-in on a hopeful public recognition of an old horror movie, along with the hopes that no one will remember how uninteresting the original already was.

It’s a bad sign that the new one is PG-13, because it’s a slasher movie and anytime you have a slasher movie that’s PG-13, it’s because the’yre hoping to attract the junior high school crowd, and that’s just never a good thing for a scary movie to do.

The story is about a girl named Donna who, along with her friends, is pursued by a sadistic killer on her prom night. That’s about it. Maybe just watch Halloween or Carrie again…

Starring a bunch of no-name actors
Director: Nelson McCormick
Screenplay: J.S. Cardone

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MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY (2008), Romantic Comedy, PG-13, 92 mins.

Amy Adams and Francis MacDormand star in this London comedy about a penniless nanny named Miss Pettigrew who accepts a position out of desperation as a social secretary for a young woman so different from her that it’s almost amazing that this was made into a movie and not a sitcom

McDormand delivers a charming and enchanting performance, and I’ve heard that after you watch the movie you will feel as bright and clean as a newly minted penny. A strong cast and intelligent script make this a sophisticated and heartfelt comedy, and it gives a fun look at the complicated social structure of 1930s London.

Starring: Frances McDormand, Amy Adams, Lee Pace, Ciaran Hinds, Tom Payne, Mark Strong, Shirley Henderson
Director: Bharat Nalluri
Screenplay: David Magee and Simon Beaufoy, based on the novel by Winifred Watson

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STREET KINGS (2008), Crime Thriller, R, 109 mins.

Keanu Reeves stars as a veteran LAPD officer struggling to deal with the death of his wife, when he is implicated in the execution of a fellow officer. In order to prove his innocence, he has to go up against the entire police ideology that he has respected and followed for his entire career, bringing into question the loyalties of everyone around him.

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie, Chris Evans
Director: David Ayer
Screenplay: James Ellroy and Kurt Wimmer and Jamie Moss

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THE LIFE BEFORE HER EYES (2008), Drama/Thriller, R, 90 mins.

Based on the best-selling novel by Laura Kasischke, The Life Before Her Eyes is about a suburban wife and mother who begins the question the perfectness of her life on the 15th anniversary of the death of her best friend, who was killing in a high school shooting.

It’s an interesting analysis of how high school affects us later in life, particularly traumatic experiences. Diana, the lead character, remembers the increasing strains on the relationship between her and her best friend in the days leading up to the shooting, causing her to reexamine and doubt her marrriage and disrupt her seemingly perfect life.

The film cleverly intercuts between Diana’s unravelling married life and the approach of the fateful day in high school, and along the way a deeper mystery slowly begins to emerge.

Starring: Uma Thurman, Evan Rachel Wood, Eva Amurri, Gabrielle Brennan, Brett Cullen
Director: Vadim Perelman
Screenplay: Emil Stern, based on the novel by Laura Kasischke

THE SCORPION KING 2: RISE OF A WARRIOR (2008), Action, PG-13, probably 90 mins or so.

It’s revealing that this is a sequel to a spin-off of a successful franchise (that was itself already heading downhill). The Scorpion King 2 is like the distant third cousin of a good movie, related not even in name to something that was any good. The story is about a young kid named Mathayus who witnesses his father’s death at the hands of some king in an ancient world, Afterwards, get this, his quest for vengeance turns him into the most feared warrior of the ancient world. I’ve been pissed off before, but I guess never enough to transform me into anything. Oh well. I’ll tell you this though, my anger from watching this movie instantly transformed my copy of it into the most fearsome flying disc on my street…

Starring: Randy Couture, Michael Copon, and Simon Quarterman, and a lot of other clearly struggling actors
Director: Russell Mulcah
Written by: Stephen Sommers and Jonathan Hales

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HANNAH MONTANA/MILEY CYRUS: THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS (2008), Concert video, 90mins.

It’s revealing that Miley Cyrus needs a gimmick like 3D to get her concert video to sell. And that’s not all. The video is 74 minutes long, but the much-trumpeted 2-DISC EXTENDED EDITION includes a whopping extra 16 minutes. Wow. Surely an overwhelmingly grateful public will mob the video stores.

Miley Cyrus’s personal life is pretty popular amidst the Hollywood gossip columns, and if any of you have any interest whatsoever about her professional life (or if some of you aren’t sure if she actually has a professional life or not), this video is for you. The rest of you can just keep checking hollywire, we’ll give you the good stuff…
Starring Miley Cyrus and a bunch of struggling musicians/actors.
Director: Bruce Hendricks

SMART PEOPLE (2008), Drama, R, 95 mins.

Heading up the new DVDs of the week is the directorial debut of Noam Murro, who presents a mainstream Indie film (and yes, there is such a thing), with an outstanding cast for the genre, including Thomas Haden Church, Dennis Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker, and of course, Ellen Page of the charming but overrated Juno.

Murro takes the safe route and provides us with an unadventurous cookie-cutter redemption tale. Dennis Quaid plays Lawrence Wetherhold, an intolerable intellectual who suffers a brain injury and suddenly finds himself at the mercy of other people. Unfortunately, Lawrence is the only character who undergoes any change, all of the other characters exist to give the film color and to help him along the path of self-improvement.

It’s a simple character drama and is entertaining enough, but leaves you with a feeling that it could have been much better had they fleshed out the secondary characters a little more.

Cast: Dennis Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker, Thomas Haden Church, Ellen Page, Ashton Holmes
Director: Noam Murro
Screenplay: Mark Jude Poirier

THE FELON (2008), Drama, R, 104 mins.

In direct-to-video fare if I’ve ever seen any, Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff star in an action drama about a loving family man with a bright future and happy home who is forced to commit a terrible crime to protect his home and family and is then sentenced to a maximum security prison.

If this sounds familiar at all it’s because you’ve probably already seen this story about a hundred times. I still see Dorff as Deacon Frost from Blade, although he has been pretty busy since then, starring in films like Cecil B. Demented, Feardotcom, Cold Creek Manor, Alone In The Dark, and the hugely disappointing World Trade Center.

As for Val Kilmer, I’m still trying to get over his spectacularly bad 2006 film Dead Man’s Bounty. Holy crap.

Starring: Val Kilmer, Stephen Dorff, and Harold Perrineau
Written and Directed by Ric Roman Waugh

ART OF WAR: THE BETRAYAL (2008), Action/Thriller, R, 103 mins.

Wesley Snipes’ Art of War was an unremarkable action film in which Snipes plays a man who is framed as an assassin and, wouldn’t you know it, has to prove his innocence on his own with no help from the police and never knowing who he can trust. It was not well received when it was released in 2000, but I maintain that it was enjoyable because the premise is believably presented and it doesn’t pretend to be anything more than it is.

Enter the direct-to-video sequel, where Snipes plays the same character, emerging from exile to to vindicate the murder of his former mentor. He soon finds himself surrounded by corruption and, you guessed it, betrayal, and discovers that he has been set up as more people turn up dead.

It’s suspicious that Snipes has recently been in trouble with the IRS, which may have something to do with why he agreed to do this movie. I’ll put it lightly and just say that this is not his best work.

Starring: Wesley Snipes and a whole mess of people you’ve never heard of.

Director: Josef Ruznak

Written by: Jason Bourque and Keith Shaw
THE ORANGE THIEF (2008), Comedy, 84 mins.

Surely we’ve all been tempted by those orchards overflowing with oranges begging to be picked, especially those of us in southern California, but here is a story about a guy who steals them for a living, but also for a bit of an outlaw thrill. Soon enough his lifestyle on the outer edge of society lands him in jail where his life takes an unexpected turn when a cellmate makes him a bizarre offer.

It’s a clever comedy in the vein of Jim Jarmusch, but also gives the feeling of trying to make a feature length film out of a half hour of good comedy.

Starring: a lot of Italian people

Directors: Vinnie Angel and Boogie Dean

Written by: Vinnie Angel and Boogie Dean