Paris Hilton gets advice on how to be a fake president from the greatest fake U.S. president of our generation–President Martin Sheen.

Listen to Paris’ interview with Ryan Seacrest discussing her new political video.

Poor, poor Paris!  A coyote attack killed her two pooches Wednesday night.  Paris is said to be distraught over the loss and has been crying non-stop.  Two of her pampered brood were a midnight snack for the coyote, which is a member of the dog family.  How cannibalistic!

In an interview with Ellen earlier this year, she revealed that she has 17 dogs.  That can’t be right!  Aren’t there laws to, like, not let people do that or something?

It is not known which dogs are currently heading towards the business end of the wild animal, but I suspect that Tinkerbell was safe in Mommy’s arms.  Heck with 17 dogs, how do you keep track?

Our thoughts and prayers go out to her, we are truly sorry for her loss.

A moment of silence please.  Let us remember the good times…

Paris Hilton comes to the defence when the Jonas Brothers were mocked by British comedian Russell Brand at the VMA awards show for wearing purity rings.  They have made a pledge to not have sex until marriage.  She says:

“I don’t pick on them. That’s something cool for a kid to keep, so don’t pick on them for that.” She added, “I think that they’re all really good kids and that they’re definitely our next generation of kids and they’re all really good so I think that’s awesome.”

That means a lot coming from someone that was the star of their own sex tape.  But Hilton wasn’t the only person to come the Jonas Brothers defence, Jordan Sparks told the crowd “I just wanna say, it’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and girl wants to be a slut, OK?”

Ding dang y’all!  It was just a joke, I am sure the Jonas Brothers are not like, crying into their pillows at night because some drunken Brit gave them a hard time for being virgins.

Paris Hilton as Amber Sweet in "Repo!"

Paris Hilton’s new movie is not the kind of movie you expect to see her in–in fact, it’s not a movie you would really expect at all.  Repo! The Genetic Opera looks like the kind of campy, cult movie you expect from unknown C-list actors, not A-list debutantes.  But after watching a few clips from the film, the bizarre dark music begins to take on a catchy kind of charm, evoking memories of cult classics like The Rocky Horror Picture Show or Labyrinth.  

Check out the first trailer below:

While that one may be a bit of an overload, the next trailer does a better job explaining the premise of the movie: mass organ failure sparks the launch of an organ replacement company, GeneCo. that has the right to repossess your organs if you fail to make your payments.  Paris plays the Amber Sweet, the daughter and hopeful heir of the GeneCo. president.  See the second trailer below:

 
The last clip is a full clip from the song “Zydrate Anatomy”, where you get to see Paris strut her stuff and belt out.  And surprisingly enough, her voice and acting is pretty good in the film–see below:

Despite the odd premise in a musical setting, I am actually pretty interested in seeing the movie. Will it be tasteless and bizarre, or dark and entertaining?

 Look for the movie in theatres this November to see!

Looks like Paris Hilton is getting even with John McCain. Paris released a faux presidential campaign video on the humor site Funny Or Die today. In it, Paris mocks John McCain who used her image in one of his commercials last week without permission.

While sitting under the sun in a skimpy, leopard-print bikini, Paris says, “I want America to know that I’m, like, totally ready to lead.”

Kind of a scary thought, huh? Paris for President? Yikes…

Kathy Hilton has written a blog on the Huffington Post in response to the use of her Daughter, Paris Hilton, in an ad campaign for John McCain.

Kathy wrote, “I’ve been asked again and again for my response to the now infamous McCain celebrity ad. I actually have three responses. It is a complete waste of money John McCain’s contributors have donated to his campaign. It is a complete waste of the country’s time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs. And it is a completely frivolous way to choose the next president of the United States.”

I don’t understand all the negativity towards this ad. Is it because he chose two of the most unstable celebrities as examples? Would the reaction have been different had he shown Angelina Jolie or Bono instead? I like the ad and I do not feel that my time and attention have been wasted. Unlike my tax dollars that were wasted on Paris Hilton’s jail time.

What do you think - did this ad help or hurt McCain’s campaign?

Paris Hilton is hoping to team up with the other tabloid queens, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, for a new reality TV show about what life is like for them in the spotlight. The heiress also wants to produce the two-hour special.

Apparently, this idea was brought on by the success of E!’s top reality shows, Denise Richards: It’s Complicated and Living Lohan, which are both produced by Ryan Seacrest.

The show’s concept is basically like The View, but hosted by famous celebrities who will address such topics as the paparazzi, career management and, most importantly, girl talk!

Chicago Times reports:

“Just imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Tori Spelling — as well as [Denise] Richards, Hilton and her former ‘The Simple Life’ co-star, Nicole Richie — together in one big two-hour special sharing ‘their side’ of what it’s like to be them.
That concept alone reportedly has intrigued a couple of cable channels initially contacted about the concept: Bravo and Lifetime.”

Um, real smart thinking, Paris. Wouldn’t a reality show about being famous bring even more attention?

Although, apparently, Paris is in need of some more attention because the other tabloid targets have been getting it all.

But, Britney and Lindsay are finally getting their lives back in order, and they’ve had enough uninvited cameras shoved in their faces these days. What makes Paris think they will actually want to welcome the cameras and expose themselves for even more public ridicule and scrutiny?

Anyways, does she really have time for this? I mean, shouldn’t she be off trying to make that baby she really wants with Benji?

Paris Hilton’s Photobucket account reveals the secret to her beauty is all in the hair… extensions.

The album contains a photo shoot for her hair extension line as well as a complimentary video. Both, however, look cheaply done. The video includes clips of Paris taken from shows such as ET and The Daily Ten - all transitioned through tacky special effects (pictured below). Also, in the album are pictures of Hilton at various events and premieres.

Clicking “Paris Hilton’s Beauty Secret Revealed” will lead you to the extension’s website, as equally tacky as the Photobucket album. The first feature of the site is “10 Shades of Hot,” which shows the extensions “applied” to Paris’ hair. I’m sure the actual product has better quality than the cheap rendered photos present.

The site also features a coupon for people who are miraculously still interested in buying the product, as well as another version of “10 Shades of Hot,” titled “Be Paris,” with even more of a hot-Photoshop-mess.

Oh, Paris… I think you’re great, but if you’re trying to sell hair, this is not the right way to do it. Then again, you’re the one with the empire, so maybe you are doing it the right way.

Paris Hilton in a Bikini Whoring…. The Good Ole’ Days [DRH]

Katherine Heigl Bikini Pictures Don’t Look So Bad [Dickism]Fake Celebrity Porn: Heidi Klum is Hot & MILF-Y [NinjaDude]

Don Imus is an Idiot [AnythingHolllywood]

Michelle Hunziker Hot Bikini Pictures [TheGrumpiest]

Michelle Trachtenberg-New Erotic Video [Glamzilla]
Pam Anderson Does Radar Magazine of the Day [DrukenStepfather]

Celebs Hit the Batting Cages for Charity [GravyandBiscuits]

Denise Richards Bikini Pictures still look Good [NewsToob]

Audrina’s fake boobs are Awesome [DerekHail]

Welcome Maddie Briann to the world of Gossip [PopBytes]

Keira Knightley+ Mom= One Hot Sex Scene [CelebNewsWire]

Katherine Heigl Voted Most Desirable Women in the World [Bricks and Stones]

In today’s overly litigious society, anyone is susceptible to ridculous lawsuit. Take for instance fifty-two year old Macrida Patterson. Her eye was the unfortunate victim to a “defective” v-string thong. While shopping Victoria’s Secret “ “Sexy Little Things” line Patterson picks up a seemingly innocent pair of underwear when the dastardly “decorative metallic detail” pops off and hits her in the eye.

The metallic piece apparently damaged her cornea and she had to “miss work for several days.” Her lawyer claims that there is a “design flaw” with the garment and is suing Victoria’s Secret for an undisclosed sum. He’s definately not exaggerating when he states that the accident will be “affecting her for the rest of her life.”

Uh… yeah. It’s true. She really filed papers in a court of law to petition an actual judge (who by the way has spent years and years studying statutes, pouring over volumes of judicial journals) to hear her case against the sexy lingerie chain. Tsk tsk madame. Tsk tsk. In the words of the wise sage Will Ferrell “That JUST happened!!!” Now move on lady!

We can at least commend Macrida Patterson for one thing, she was looking at appropriate underwear. No granny panties for this fifty-two year old woman. Maybe Paris Hilton can learn something from her elders.

Haute couture Paris was outed on her dirty lil’ $3 granny panty “hi-cut” habit when photographers got a shot of the contents of her car. If she doesn’t have sex appeal… what’s she got left? Hey, at least Paris isn’t the one with instigating frivilous lawsuits. She’s a little too classy for that.