Hey everyone! Welcome back to “Quotes of the Week” here at Hollywire. We’ve got a fun selection this week of the odd and outrageous things said this week in the world of Hollywood.
5. Peta <3’s Sea Kittens
“When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?“–Peta
Peta is currently working on a new campaign to make fish more attractive so that people feel more compassionate to them by renaming them “Sea Kittens”. No one is going to be fooled by these semantics, Peta, because I doubt anyone will think kittens and fish look a like–and no one wants to cuddle with a fish. If you think fish are gross and slimy, you will still think of them as gross and slimy; nobody really thinks a Catfish is any cuter than a trout. Can’t they just stick to cutesie names like Fishy
4. Randy Jackson gives Simon Cowell girl advice
“Dude, if you keep showing these shots on the jet ski baring your chest you’re not going to find the right girl that way. Simon, dude, he needs the right girl.”–Randy Jackson
We agree with Randy on this one. Simon Cowell is used to doling out the tough advice, so now he gets a little for himself that he should take to heart. Then again, finding a new girl for one of the world’s most sharped tongued critics might not get any easier just because he stops baring his chest in public. Still, we hope Simon listens to Randy, because nobody really wants to see that much chest hair on one man.
3. Lily Allen’s Daddy gives some advice to his daughter
“As a man, I could drink, snort [drugs], and f**k to my heart’s content without any detriment to my career. A girl cannot do that. The tabloids are shameless in trying to create a race-to-rehab between any girl and out there who has a drink. Lily’s learning what daddy learned long ago: fame is a pain in the f*****g arse.”–Keith Allen
2. Ashton Kutcher is not a morning person.
“I get to wake up…to my f*ckin’ jackass neighbor…This is where my dickweed neighbor decided to be building a house at 7 a.m…I’m gonna lose it on this guy…I’m gonna lose it, I’m gonna lose it, I’m gonna lose it.” –Ashton Kutcher
The husband of Demi Moore got a little peeved recently when construction workers started on his neighbor’s house at 7:30 in the morning. We understand that that’s a little early, and we understand the desire to grumble about it…but then Ashton goes on to create a video in which he rips into his neighbor a new one. In the video, he points out his deck, his house, and his mansion as he blasts his neighbor’s inconsiderate behavior for being loud so close to where he sleeps; to be honest, I don’t feel too badly for anyone who lives in a multi-million dollar house. Plus, I’m sure living next to a celebrity brings plenty of drama for the neighbors. Anyways, whatever happened to “Love thy neighbor”, Ashton?
1. Ashlee Simpson-Wentz defends Jessica
“All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard.”
We agree with Ashlee–enough is enough! Jessica Simpson is known for being a little ditzy, but all this talk of her being fat is just ridiculous. Sure, we’ve seen the pictures, and of course it can’t be denied that she has put on a little weight. But as Ashlee says, women shouldn’t have to conform to one standard of beauty; when stars are criticized for their imperfections like this, what message does that send to young, regular girls? We say, embrace your new curves, Jessica!
That’s it for this week, ladies and gentlemen. Join us next week for more momentous quotes from celebs.
