After watching the much promoted VH1 show ‘I Love Money’ I am left with not only a bad taste in my mouth, but a distinct feeling that can only be described as disgust. Disgusted with myself for watching… and enjoying! Also disgusted by the sight of Mr. Boston in a black bikini.

The show starts off with the massive cast of 17 trying to disembark off of the boats that brought them to the remote Mexico location. So one by one they jump off and either land it and make their way to shore, or, like The Entertainer, simply go for it and get completely soaked–suitcase and all.

The drama already begins when it is time for the cast to choose a bed, 16 beds, 17 people. HMMM… Someone is already going home.

With libations in hand, and some of the women in bikinis, everyone begins to mingle. Even though they’ve literally just gotten off the boats, some people are already pissing off other people–in Mexico for just a few hours and already talking smack (I am talking to you Midget Mac!). Enough fun, time to get down to business! The cast learns the rules and process of elimination for the coming weeks until only one is left standing and wins the $250,000 prize. One by one they stand before the host, Craig Jackson, and say how the prize money would change their lives. Some were honorable, but who remembers that? What I do remember, is Midget Mac saying that $200,000 would go to his parents and the other $50,000.00 would go to strippers.

*cough*

NIIICCCCEEEEE! There is a man with a plan!

Pumpkin said that she would buy boobs; to which Megan made the hilarious comment of ‘floppy boob sock.’

Classic.

Watch out Megan, Pumpkin spits!

The cast is then told to put on these skimpy black bikinis (yes, the men too!) and get ready for their first challenge. Most of the men go for it, hence Mr. Boston reference earlier, but Midget Mac absolutely refuses and is thus disqualified. The challenge is to go into a money booth and stuff pesos in their swim suit and the two with the most money become team captains. Yet another is disqualified when Chance refuses to take his bandanna off before going into the booth.

Play-uh hasta look sharp at all times, why they gotta hate?!

Mr. Boston gives everyone a nice flash of his goods when removing bills from the front of his bikini bottoms. Yeah, it was bad. Real bad.

Hoopz and White Boy are the captains and after a round or two of everyone sucking up, they pick their teams Dodge Ball style. One by one everyone is picked by either Hoopz or White Boy until there is only Nibblz, Brandi C., and Midget Mac left standing. They are each told to plea their case to the captains because whoever isn’t picked, is sent home.

It’s Midget Mac.

Sorry little guy! Hasta luego! Rocas del retroceso.

To keep abreast of all the team changes and who is who, click here.

Ok, I am going to make my predictions that The Entertainer will make it to the end, along with Hoopz and White Boy.

I will see you all next Sunday for the next juicy episode! Hopefully I wont catch crabs through my television set….