Did you hear about “Tulula Does the Hula?” Talula Does the Hula is a 9 year girl who lives in Hawaii; she just recently received a court ordered name change. The judge stated,
“The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child’s parents have shown in choosing this name…It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily.”
All I have to say is, WOW! This judge would have a field day in Hollywood. You thought Rumer Glenn, Scout Larue and Tallulah Belle were bad names? Take a load of these. I tried to keep it down to 50, but there was no way I could let some of these go unnoticed; and, there’s no doubt I could reach the hundreds. I won’t bother putting them in any order. You can be the judge of who’s child has the worst name, but they are all pretty heinous. Seriously, they’re real.
TOP 75 WORST CELEB BABY NAMES
Pilot Inspektor: Son of Jason Lee
Moxie CrimeFighter and Zoltan: Children of Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller)
Fifi-Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Pixie and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily: Daughters of Paula Yates (Wow…)
Kal-El Coppola: Son of Nicholas Cage
Audio Science: Son of Shannyn Sossamon
Banjo Patrick: Son of Rachel Griffiths
Sage Moonblood and Seargeoh: Daughter (Sage) & son of Sylvester Stallone
Indio Falconer: Son of Robert Downey Jr.
Sistine Rose: Daughter of Sylvester Stallone
Mingus Lucien: Son of Helena Bonham Carter
Thyme: Daughter of Emma Thompson
Speaking of herbs…
Poppy Honey and Daisy Boo: Daughters of Jamie Oliver (The Naked Chef)
Spec Wildhorse, Hud and Teddy Jo: Sons of John Cougar Mellencamp
Apple Blythe Alison: Daughter of Chris Martin (Coldplay) and Gwyneth Paltrow
Maddox Chivan: Son of Angelina Jolie
Bluebell Madonna: Daughter of Geri Halliwell (Spice Girls)
Phoenix Chi: Daughter of Melanie Brown (Spice Girls)
Sailor Lee: Daughter of Christie Brinkley
Calico Dashiell: Daughter of Alice Cooper
Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q and Memphis Eve: Children of Bono
Blue Angel: Daughter of The Edge (U2)
Brawley King: Son of Nick Nolte
Coco Riley: Daughter of Courtney Cox and David Arquette (Sting also has a daughter named Coco)
Hopper Jack: Son of Sean Penn
Prima Sellechia: Daughter of John Tesh
Elettra-Ingrid: Daughter of Isabella Rossellini and Jonathan Weidemann
Dusti Rainn and Keelee Breeze: Daughters of Robert Van Winkle (aka: Vanilla Ice)
Magnus Paulin: Son of Will Ferrell
Chastity Sun: Daughter of Cher and Sonnie Bono
Tu: Daughter of Rob Morrow (Hah, get it?? Clever– Tu Morrow– but sad.)
Jermajesty: Son of Jermaine Jackson
Diezel Ky and Denim Cole: Children of Toni Braxton
Pirate: Son of Jonathan Davis (Korn)
God’iss Love Stone: Daughter of Lil’ Mo
Rufus Tiger, Tiger Lily and Lola Daisy: Children of Roger Taylor (the drummer of Queen, who has a thing for tigers and flowers.)
Seven Sirius and Puma: Children of Erykah Badu (Seven’s father is Andre 3000 from OutKast & Puma’s father is rapper The D.O.C.)
Saffron Sahara: Daughter of Simon Le Bon (Duran Duran)
Moon Unit, Dweezil, Diva Thin Muffin and Ahmet Emuukha Rodan – Children of Frank Zappa
Reign Beau and Freedom: Children of Ving Rhames and Deborah Reed
Alchamy: Daughter of Jane Pollack
Bamboo: Son of Big Boi (Outkast)
Corde: Son of Snoop Doggy Dogg
Laprincia: Daughter of Bobby Brown
Bow-Ty: Son of 50 Cent
Million: Son of Mystikal (rapper)
Messiah Ya’majesty: Son of T.I. (rapper)
Indiana August: Son of Casey Affleck
Lark Song: Daughter of Mia Farrow
Whizdom and Tryumph: Children of Jayson Williams (NBA player)
Rocket, Racer, Rebel and Rogue: Children of Robert Rodriguez (director/producer/screenwriter)
Sosie Ruth: Daughter of Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick
Aurelius Cy: Son of Elle Macpherson
Ever Gabo: Daughter of Milla Jovovich
Bogart Che Peyote: Son of David Rainey (Remember ‘Puck’ from Real World?)
Audio Science and Moxie Crimefighter might top my list… but then again there’s also Pilot Inspektor and Tu Marrow. What’s your favorite worst name ever?
August 21st, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Wow, I thought naming my cat was hard…..
August 21st, 2008 at 12:13 pm
These celebrity names sound unique and weird, for others. But what is wrong with naming your babies with something people haven’t heard of yet?
August 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
To bass fishing lures_andreamae:
I’m cool with unique names, like Indio Falconer is kinda cool and interesting….But, come on, Fifi-trixbelle? Sounds like a horrible dog name! Even you have to admit some of these are beyond unique and weird; some are just downright cruel to a child.
August 21st, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I know of a friend who actually named their son “ABCDEF”. A cruel cruel world we live in , indeed.
August 21st, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Tani-Jade:
Do they call the kid “ABC” for short? Cuz I couldn’t imagine saying ABCDEF everytime I talked to my kid.
That is a really cruel name for sure
August 22nd, 2008 at 9:31 am
Now you can add Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale to the list. Gwen Stefani’s second child.
August 22nd, 2008 at 11:56 am
I’m all for unique names, but I also don’t want my kid getting made fun of for their entire life either…
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
So…. The name Pirate Champolian…. <i made up the middle name, is def one of my future childrens name…
WANT THE REST?! I want to have 8 children…
Boys:
Brendon Alexander
Jacoby Saiden
Hayden James
Aiden Lee
Pirate Champolian
Girls:
Samara Shade Quinn
Ashlee Harlow Mae
Tagen Amberly Amidala
i dont’ care how strange they get…i love them!
August 23rd, 2008 at 7:19 am
i prefer unique names over common ones but i dont think that id go to the extremes that the celebrities went to. i want six kids, three boys and three girls:
Boys: Damen, Hunter, Attwood
Girls: Amethyst, Destiny, River-Storm
August 24th, 2008 at 2:45 am
Yep…Santa Claus is real. He lives in my town – Incline Village, NV – and has recently announced his bid for president. He is running as a write in candidate in 30 states. He legally changed his name a few years ago. He walks every where around town and always waves at the kids as they drive by. He is a cool guy.
August 26th, 2008 at 8:28 am
those poor kids!!!
August 27th, 2008 at 7:17 am
I just cant believe some of these names that these people pick its like they have nothing better to do than torture there poor children… My goddddddddddddddddddddd
October 14th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
It is hard to fathom how twisted the world is when we look up to ppl who do this kind of thing to their kids. Saddling with a name they think is funny or will get them some press is cruel.
May 11th, 2009 at 2:31 am
@Carmen -please don’t breed
May 11th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Bogart Che Peyote…hehehehe…that’s pretty cool.
Oh, and bjtaylor…your boys’ names are about as unique as a red Ferrari. Girls’ names too, except for that River-Storm nonsense. Don’t give your kids a complex.
May 11th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Proof positive that celebrities shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. Their self-centeredness and selfishness never ceases to amaze me. No thought of the person who will have to carry that train wreck of a name throughout their entire life. But then again, they’ll probably be so warped by the time they reach adulthood that their name will be the least of their issues.
May 11th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I don’t know, Coco Riley and Magnus Paulin seem normal and Elettra-Ingrid just sounds Swedish. My mother used a pretty good yardstick: if you can’t imagine the name in the sentence, “Paging Dr. _______. Dr. _______ _______, report to surgery,” don’t use it.
May 11th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
“Magnus Paulin”
What’s the point?
May 12th, 2009 at 4:57 am
There’s nothing wrong with being called Magnus Paulin Ferrell. Paulin is the mothers last name and Magnus is a very normal Swedish first name.
May 12th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Wow! In an attempt to be unique they just make themselves look bad and then saddle their kids with these horrid names! I have a friend that actually named her son Arsen. I can see the insults coming on that one. Another named his daughter Aubreyaynya. Try spelling that one quickly. Innaming my kids more traditional names, I eneded up being more original that some of these silly names.
May 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
good good
May 14th, 2009 at 6:13 am
i would’ve liked being named “maddox”
May 14th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Nothing wrong with ZOltan, it’s a typical hungarian name.
But TU MORROW and AUDIO SCIENCE kick ass, hahaha!
Whyzdom and Thriumph also are… awful!
May 14th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland – Son of Donald Sutherland. Can you imagine what it would have been like as his parent getting him in trouble?
May 14th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Mingus Lucien is son of Helena Christensen, Helena Bonham-Carter has Billy Ray Burton and Nell Burton. Those two are also weird names…
May 14th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
there was a kid at the little village school my kids went to and her name was nebucchadnezzar….I swear to god lol……poor kid
May 14th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
idiot stupid crazy people my god my god think about the future children
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
May 15th, 2009 at 6:54 am
Here in Brazil we have to singers called “Baby do Brasil” and “Pepeu Gomes”, their daughters are “Nana Sarah”, Sarah Shiva” and “Zabele”.
May 15th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I’m going to name my son Qwerty. He’ll be able to type his name really fast.
May 21st, 2009 at 6:37 pm
How have you not included Jacko’s kids?
June 4th, 2009 at 5:27 am
I am amazed at the names the wealthy saddle their children with. I went to school with a girl named Sunny and I thought that was a tough upbringing. I have posted a similar article at StuffRichPeopleLove.com, enjoy!