In the April 2008 issue of Glamour magazine, Salma Hayek is asked some tough questions about her dedication to eradicating violence against women, being a new mom, and the idea of marriage.
Here is part of the interview:
EVE ENSLER: You’ve been such a huge part of this movement. How did you come to care so deeply about the issue of ending the abuse of women and girls?
SALMA HAYEK: When I was 18 I had a friend who was so cool. She was a straight-A student, sophisticated, studying architecture in college, someone I really looked up to. I was convinced she would become the president of Mexico. Then she fell in love, and this strong, knowledgeable girl became a victim of abuse. It shocked me to see how she got into the cycle and how it stole her soul away. That’s when I realized it could happen to anyone.
EE: Has it ever happened to you?
SH: Not personally. But the first time I saw domestic violence firsthand was when I was in Mexico, taking a walk with my family, and we came upon a man beating up this woman. My father intervened and fought the man and won. I remember thinking, Oh my God, my father is a hero. Then the woman turned around and started beating up my father. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. After that I became very intrigued with what makes a woman stay in an abusive relationship: How does her spirit break?
EE: So, tell
SH: In the six years I’ve been involved, I’ve seen V-Day grow from a play into a movement. I have performed monologues in many V-Days and am now a board member, helping to raise money and consciousness at fund-raisers. I am involved because I want women to know, in their dark hour, they are not alone. When they think nobody loves them or they’re disposable, or that it’s OK to die under those circumstances because they’re not important, I want them to know people care.
EE: Over the years I’ve watched you evolve from a free, independent young lady into a mother and family woman. How have you handled that transition?
SH: I believe that change keeps you young. I’m a late bloomer; I always have been. I’m 41, and I know a lot of women think that this is the time when you start getting depressed. To that I say, “No, no, no, no, no!” I’m having the best time of my life.
EE: Why?
SH: The best thing that’s ever happened to me is this thing that has happened to so many women, which is having a baby. Every second is magical, every smile. I cannot get enough of it, because I am not sitting here thinking, What am I going to do with my life? I’ve already established my career. I think it’s very good to have a child at this age. I’m in a great place.
EE: How has having Valentina changed you as a woman?
SH: I don’t remember very well who I was before. Part of me feels like it’s so new and so strange to have a baby, and part of me feels like I’ve known [her] face forever. Somehow I am really relaxed within the chaos of having a baby—and anyone who’s a mother knows it’s very hard to relax, because there is so much to do and worry about! I just feel so fortunate to be her mother, and it makes me excited about the rest of my life, because I will get to witness her transformation every day. I feel I was born to have this girl.
EE: A lot of women say that giving birth made them aware of how powerful they are. Do you feel more powerful?
SH: I really embraced pregnancy. I enjoyed it. It came to me and I said, “OK, this is where I go now.” I had diabetes while I was pregnant. I became huge. And I said, “This is what it takes for me to have this baby, and I really want it.” Then you don’t know if it’s going to be healthy; you are completely out of control. So the experience really makes you humble.
EE: What has surprised you most about being a mother?
SH: Well, I have to confess something—I wanted a boy.
EE: Really?
SH: At the beginning I did. Probably because I was afraid. I think women suffer a bit more than boys, and there is always conflict between mothers and daughters. But now that she’s here, I’m so happy she’s a girl. And I can’t imagine there ever being conflict between us, because I’m in a state of innocence where I love everything she does. If she does a poop and I have to change the diaper, I love that moment!
EE: And how has François [-Henri Pinault, Salma’s fiancé] reacted to Valentina’s arrival?
SH: He warned me from the beginning that he gets very nervous when babies are so little—he thinks he’s going to break them! But he plays with her, sleeps with her, loves her, kisses her. He’s not obsessed like me. But he’s had two before!
EE: What about marriage—is that something you care about?
SH: Right now I am just enjoying my baby. Do I think we are going to get married? Probably. Will it make a difference? I hope not. I don’t have a need for marriage. You want to grow old with someone, you want to have a partner and to have children—we have all those things. Some people need the commitment. Maybe we’ll just make the party!
