'Amusement' Review...
So Amusement starts with the old scene of some dude and some chick in a car at night coming home from somewhere. It doesn’t matter where they are going or where they’re coming from, only that they’re on a lonely road far from civilization, and the boyfriend has a habit of forming “convoys” when he’s on lonely drives like this. You see, when two or three or more cars drive together, he explains to his girlfriend, it makes driving more interesting, even though you usually don’t ever meet the other drivers.Didn’t these people ever see Duel?
The movie is composed of three different segments, the relations of which don’t become clear until the end of the movie, and even then it’s not all very clear. The first segment is this couple driving on the road when they meet a Crazy Trucker, one of the members of their convoy, which also includes a geeky guy in a Jeep. The creepy trucker tells them that “traffic is wall to wall” up ahead, and everyone readily believes him despite the loneliness and emptiness of the road they’re on, and they all head off into the woods, forgetting the valuable lessons learned by the fore-head smacker Wrong Turn.
At the very least, this little horror skit doesn’t pan out like you might expect, although once it’s over I would advise you not to think back on it, because you’ll notice that it doesn’t make a scrap of sense. But you may be pleasantly surprised by a brief unexpected turn, so at least there’s that.
[caption id="attachment_27486" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Never babysit for people with equally bad taste in children's toys and interior design..."]
[/caption]Next thing you know, we’re being introduced to the character of Tabitha, who is babysitting her two nephews when she becomes creeped out by the extensive collection of creepy clown dolls in the bedroom. Who really has clown dolls like that? Even the little ones? Who would torture their kids with such awful toys? Like that SimPal Cindy doll in The 6th Day. Can you imagine ever giving such a thing to your child?
Anyway, Tabitha calls her aunt to ask about the dolls, because one of them is like, literally life-size and looks like one of those crazy-clown dolls that you only see in direct-to-video horror movies (pun intended). The camera pans back to the room, and the doll has disappeared. You get the idea.
At this point in the movie, I was thinking about why clowns are so creepy when they’re meant for the amusement of children, as well as what would compel a grown person to surround their children with such hideous things, when suddenly I had a revelation! I had no idea what was going on! Why was I watching a scene about a creepy, life-size clown doll that turns its head when no one is looking? What happened to the crazy trucker story? At this point in my notes, I wrote down this phrase – “What the hell is going on?”
I won’t reveal any details about the clown, although ultimately you’ll realize that it is the thing that ties the movie’s three separate stories together. To give you an idea, Tabitha ultimately ends up being questioned by the FBI, who interview her in a dingy old room with a rusty light. They must be cutting costs.
The third story involves two people searching for a missing girl named Cat. In their search, Cat’s friend Lisa and her boyfriend come to a creepy old hotel where they had heard she was staying. I feel like they should have known that something was wrong when it proved necessary for the boyfriend to show his badge in order for the proprietor to allow them in the front door (or at least when they saw that he was wearing rubber gloves and a bloody facemask), but nevertheless, no points for guessing that the guy turns out to be the movie’s nutcase.
[caption id="attachment_27488" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Lisa: "Why does this charming hotel make me think of Shirley Jackson?""]
[/caption]I am guessing that the final revelation of what it is that ties these stories together, which is revealed near the end of the movie, is meant to be a big wow moment, but the connection is so witless and so un-interesting that the movie fizzles out completely with 20 minutes left, which is mostly filled with this psycho doing his best maniacal laugh which gets real old real quick.
I will say that for most of the movie, at least the predictability is low, although the third act descends into a mishmash of your standard horror clichés. The movie gives completely new meaning to the phrase “all the beds are full,” and while horror fans will surely enjoy the visceral scenes in the last half an hour, you’re not likely to see anything really new or interesting. It recalls scenes from everything from Texas Chainsaw to Hellraiser, although for real horror you might be better off watching one of those instead…
[caption id="attachment_27489" align="aligncenter" width="151" caption="2 Beans out of 5."]
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