Bruce Willis' Horrible Wig in Upcoming "Surrogates" Film

Posted on June 5, 2009 - 1:44pm by Contributing Co... As you, gentle readers, no doubt know, Hollywood and comic books have long had an alliance of sorts, what with the many comic-book movies that have come out recently, such as the Christopher Nolan Batman movies, the recent Watchmen film, and the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie, which was basically a vehicle for Hugh Jackman to be awesome for about two hours.  The upcoming film, Surrogates, which will star venerated action-movie icon Bruce Willis as both an android and a detective desperate to stop a cyber-terrorist, is set to be released this September, and as much as I am excited for this film, which is based on an excellent sci-fi comic-book series, there is one problem I have: Bruce Willis' awful, atrocious, abominable, "dutch-boy" wig.

[caption id="attachment_38616" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption=""Why, yes, I do look like an enormous weenie with this haircut!""][/caption]

This haircut is used for Bruce Willis' android/replicant/surrogate self as he attempts to bring down the cyber-terrorist who is out to destroy the virtual world of the movie (because sci-fi writers everywhere agree, a future with both the internet, Bruce Willis, AND robots would be totally sweet).  But, the Bruce Willis of the film's second half, in which he is NOT controlling a surrogate body has his trademark, "Bald and Bad-ass" look, complete with an awesome leather jacket that probably has a few bullet holes.

[caption id="attachment_38619" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Checking his futuristic E-mail, and he's STILL cooler than you, lowly mortal. "][/caption]

I, who grew up with an image of Bruce Willis as a bad-guy-punching, hot-lady-getting ass-kicker, cannot deal with this slight against an action-movie veteran.  Come on, we're talking about John McClane, here!  The guy's first words were probably "Yippie-Kay-Yay, motherfucker!"  How can the producers allow that horrible wig to exist?

[caption id="attachment_38623" align="aligncenter" width="262" caption="John McClane was probably born with that gun in his hand."][/caption]

However, Surrogates is pretty much already set to be released (at this point, they're just finishing up editing, making awesome trailers that show Bruce Willis running after evil-doers, punching stuff, and generally being the epitome of cool), so at this point, there is nothing I can really do other than complain.  Complain, and look back on his other action films, outside of the Die Hard series, in which he has the manliest of haircuts, rather than that stupid wig.  Take, for example, his portrayal of Detective Hartigan in the film adaptation of Frank Miller's Sin City comic books.

[caption id="attachment_38626" align="aligncenter" width="203" caption="Pictured: Awesomeness. Not pictured: Stupid wigs."][/caption]

Surrogates itself, though, promises to be an excellent example of science-fiction film, and really, I'm just nit-picking.  Although Bruce Willis is going to have a stupid haircut for a fair bit of the movie, the film itself, if it does not depart too much from comic book on which it is based, will not disappoint in any other respects, mainly because Bruce Willis is going to be punching robots for two hours, which geeks everywhere will agree, is totally rad.

You can watch the trailer here.