Yes, it’s true. Even after the sheer ridiculousness that the endless sequels have already reached, epitomized by the spectacular train wreck Mission to Moscow, it seems that Steve Guttenberg is attempting to jump-start his long-dead career with another Police Academy movie. As you know, we recently celebrated the 25th anniversary of the original release of the original movie (well, someone celebrated it, I’m sure), but I can’t imagine that this is any reason to keep churning out sequels, is it? At what point did the Police Academy series officially become a joke? I don’t know exactly, but it was years ago.

How about a quick recap of some recent and upcoming bad sequel ideas? The obvious ones were the resurrections of Rambo and Rocky, although both of those turned out to be good. Good work, Stallone! I hope you’re coaching Guttenberg on getting back in blue in his ill-advised upcoming project! (by the way, did I mention that Stallone has already signed on to direct Rambo 5 and a Rambo 6 is rumored?)

Thus far I’ve only seen the first half of Die Hard 4, although so far so good. I’ll get around to the rest of it eventually. Indiana Jones was recently brought back to life with the disappointing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but if Harrison Ford can’t pull off the long-overdue and totally unnecessary sequel, what hope does Guttenberg have?

Leslie Easterbrook (the one on the left), one of the only original cast members to have signed on for Police Academy 8. She doesn't look busy.

But there’s hope, at least Guttenberg isn’t as thoroughly delusional as another Steve – Seagal, who hopes to set Under Siege 3 in SPACE. Hell yes! If you already know you can’t make a good movie, go for the worst movie you can possibly turn out! We’re rooting for you Steve! See if you can surpass Against the Dark for pure, unfiltered crappiness! I believe in you!

Yes, that’s right, Under Siege 3 is officially coming to a theater near you, as is Police Academy 8. Although if I might be so bold as to venture a prediction, I’m going to go ahead and suppose that the “theater near you” is going to be the one in your living room. Seagal and Guttenberg in first-run theaters? Right. Not while the sky’s still blue.

But here’s hoping, right? For now I’ll let you digest all that good news about upcoming movies, but stay tuned next week when I will give you some more details about Guttenberg’s plan to make another Three Men and a Baby movie while the public foams at the mouth for what we really want, another Short Circuit! Johnny 5 is alive!!