John Mayer Dishes on Sex with Jessica Simpson!
Oh my! John Mayer reveals A LOT in a new interview with Playboy. We've picked out only the best highlights for your reading pleasure. Check out what he says about Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, being a 'douche-bag' and Perez Hilton.
On sex with Jessica Simpson:
"Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm."
"There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f--kin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f--k you, I would start selling all my s--t just to keep f--king you."
On his relationship with Jennifer Aniston... and why it didn't work:
"Yes, always. I'll always be sorry that it didn't last. In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can't change the fact that I need to be 32."
"One of the most significant differences between us was that I was tweeting. There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she's still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, 'These are the new rules.' You have to show that you don't take yourself seriously."
On his 'douche-bag' status, he says:
"I've been trying to prove to people I'm not a douche bag by not dating, by keeping my name out of Us Weekly. That's f--ked up, man. I'm not dating. I'm not even f--king. So now I'm going to experiment with 'f--k you.' In 2010 my goal is to get more mentions in Us Weekly than ever."
We couldn't quite figure out a category for this heart-felt quote, but he said:
"My d--k is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f--kin' David Duke c--k. I'm going to start dating separately from my d--k."
Off his 'relationship' with Perez Hilton, Mayer added:
"I remember seeing Perez Hilton flitting about this club and acting as though he had just invented homosexuality. All of a sudden I thought, I can out-gay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody -- almost as if I hated fags."
"Perez is to hating as Richard Simmons is to health and well-being. You can print that. Perez is so authentically off his rocker he will not let you finish a sentence. I think he has some dark things in his past. I think he comes from a little bit of hurt, and I say that with an understated tone. At the end of the day I go to his site, but I don’t see him as a threat."
