John Mayer Finally Admits to Hooking Up With Perez Hilton!
This is NOT an April Fools Joke!
While doing a standup comedy routine on the Maycraft Carrier cruise yesterday, John Mayer finally addressed that nasty rumor that's been following him around for a couple years, which is that he hooked up with Perez Hilton.
John Mayer flat out admitted to making out with Perez, and he explains why in his routine:
'He has to go tell people that I made out with him at a club. I never said anything, but you know what? Damn right I made out with him at a club. You know why? Because I can't stand a gay guy who acts like he just turned gay yesterday. As soon as a guy is walking around all wild… I will f'ck you in the ass to shut you up. You are not wilder than me. Once you judge me I will go ass to mouth with you just to shut you up. First of all, I was thinking about going gay until you turned into their spokesperson.
'I was thinking about going gay. Every man has thought about going gay. It's usually like.. 2:23 in the morning you wake up. ‘Oh God, interesting!' We seem to leave out the details, don't we guys? Guys like fantasies without the details. ‘Oh yeah, I could blow a dude. Might taste like cherries.' You know that smell at New York Sports Club? The locker room? That's balls….
'The idea of blowing a guy, that's not the problem. The problem is like he'd have some other detail that I didn't think about, like a hangnail or a f'ing class ring knocking into my forehead. Class of 98 just hitting me, or given my predilections Class of 72…
'Whatever, have a good time. Like I don't know this stuff is going to end up somewhere and they're going to act like it's a surprise that it got there. I thought about this shit before I came out… who f'ing cares. Have a good time.'
