Remember all that drama a few months ago over James Franco being appointed to speak at UCLA’s commencement? Students protested, and eventually he had to cancel his speech because of “prior commitments.” Well, now, thanks to FunnyorDie.com, we can see what he had in mind for that speech.

I totally agreed with all the UCLA students who were against him as a speaker (I mean, who wants to listen to some actor who was in your classes last year instead of someone awesome like a renowned politician?), but now I’m kind of sad he never spoke. And that I never made friends with him while he was at UCLA.