U.S. District Judge William Terrell Hodges announced in an Ocala, Florida courtroom Thursday that the man we all know and love from Blade is going to jail. Wesley Snipes, 45, was sentenced to three years in jail earlier today. He was first convicted of tax fraud in February on three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a tax return. Jurors acquitted Snipes of felony tax fraud and conspiracy charges.

But Snipes wasn’t convicted. If he had been found guilty of all the charges filed against him, he would be looking at a 16 year jail sentence. But Snipes couldn’t escape the long arm of the law for long.

Snipes sat solemnly as the sentenced was read. Some people were so surprised that they even gasped. (How dramatic!)

“I’m very sorry for my mistakes and errors. I apologize to my family, the court and the community,” Snipes said as his wife looked on. “I’ve asked the court to show me mercy and the opportunity to make things right.

Snipes’ attorneys even had filed character-building testimonials from Denzel Washington, Woody Harrelson and television’s Judge Joe Brown Wednesday, along with a sentencing memorandum recommending probation, not imprisonment.

Washington called Snipes a “great oak.” Harrelson, who starred with Snipes in Wildcats, wrote, “Wes continues to encourage and challenge me to be the best man I can be by being a constant friend.”

When Denzel can’t even save you, that’s when you know it’s bad.

Prosecutors claimed that Snipes did not file his tax returns from 1999 through 2004, but jurors concluded that he failed to file for 1999, 2000 and 2001. Look on the bright side, it was only 3 years instead of the original 5!

Snipes’ defense sought probation rather than prison time. “Wesley Snipes is not a dangerous man who needs to be imprisoned to protect the public,” Snipes’ attorney said in his sentencing memo. “He is contrite, promises that he will never again break the law, and respectfully asks the court to consider not just the jury verdict but also all the good that he has done in his life.”

Looks like that didn’t help either.

Snipes withheld tax returns based on his belief that the Internal Revenue Service is not a properly established government agency. According to the memo filed today, Snipes also stated that he did not file business returns because he “was personally not subject to taxation because he was a ’stateless person’ or ‘nonresident alien,’” or a “‘nontaxpayer,’” which prosecutors flatly rejected.

I can honestly say that I think most people don’t want to pay taxes. But their reasons are not as ridiculous as thinking the IRS isn’t a ‘properly established government agency’ like Snipes believes. At least if you aren’t going to pay your taxes, make your reasoning a bit more interesting.

In the sentencing memorandum, prosecutors cited Snipes’ “frivolous correspondence” with the IRS in regards to his tax returns and his alleged manner of hiding assets.

The memo states, “It was Snipes‘ policy to send checks received at his business office for deposit offshore.”

The court document added that the “amount of unreported gross income proved at trial” amounted to more than $13 million during the three-year period.

Additionally, prosecutors said, Snipes shelled out money to family members, close friends and other organizations, including “some $498,000 in personal payments to Snipes’ grandmother, his former wife, his then-fiancee, his personal lawyer, a tax defier organization, and M & S Finance, the Swiss alter-ego to which he fraudulently conveyed his business holdings in 1999.”

Swiss alter-ego!? Now that’s what I like to hear! Way to make it even more compelling, Mr. Snipes! This whole ordeal is starting to sound more like a movie plot gone bad.

I wonder if Wesley Snipes will play himself if this story ever makes it to Hollywood?